Wrong on rape

Response to Julie's comment/February 29:Many times survivors believe that the perpetrator did not mean to cause harm as a method of dealing with trauma. Survivors also blame themselves for many reasons, such as not fighting back. Many cases of rape are considered acquaintance rape which adds a layer of betrayal to this confusing and difficult event. A sexual assault is not always clear cut and reactions vary greatly. The fact that survivors believe that no harm was intended or that it was not serious enough to report is not a sign that statistics are being fabricated, but a sign that there are more complex factors at work.

Helen @ 3:40 PM PST, Mar 4, 2008

Indeed, rape causes such psychological and emotional trauma. And the trauma shows. But while your family did not know that you were raped, they would have noticed the change in behavior.

Michael Ejercito @ 10:06 AM PST, Mar 4, 2008

As a rape survivor and recent college grad, I am disappointed that the Times added to the burden of misinformation surrounding rape by featuring Heather MacDonald's OpEd. I thank Nora Niedzielski-Eichner for offering her credible counterpoint. Services for rape victims are deficient. I did not have access to a rape crisis center following my attack, and instead socially withdrew. I did not report, nor did I tell my family because of a misplaced desire to spare them the agony, and to spare myself the stigma. Thank you to Ms. Niedzielski and all the others who are in the trenches working to draw light onto this shadowy crime.

Mari @ 9:04 PM PST, Mar 1, 2008

As a rape survivor and recent college grad, I am disappointed that the Times added to the burden of misinformation surrounding rape by featuring Heather MacDonald's OpEd. I thank Nora Niedzielski-Eichner for offering her credible counterpoint. Services for rape victims are deficient. I did not have access to a rape crisis center following my attack, and instead socially withdrew. I did not report, nor did I tell my family because of a misplaced desire to spare them the agony, and to spare myself the stigma. Thank you to Ms. Niedzielski and all the others who are in the trenches working to draw light onto this shadowy crime.

Mari @ 9:01 PM PST, Mar 1, 2008

I'd like to thank Nora for writing this response. I would say there is a crisis, when students are sexually assaulted in broad daylight at university-sanctioned event, and people still attend the same event in droves because they don't know any better. Personally, I was lucky, because members of my school's sexual assault prevention program was on-site to help me through my first sexual experience of any sort - an assault.

Mina @ 5:28 PM PST, Mar 1, 2008

MacDonald's disgusting, victim-blaming screed is worrying not only because there are people that actually think about sexual assault, on or off campus, in those terms, but because it could be very damging to survivors of sexual assault. Nobody deserves to be told it is their fault, or that they're lying, and a thousand thanks to Nora Niedzielski-Eichner for speaking up. You give a voice to the people who are too confused or afraid to speak up. The only way to fight sexual violence is to be honest and open about it, wherever it may happen.

Chelsea McClellan @ 12:40 PM PST, Mar 1, 2008

The only way to put out the spreading wildfire is with knowledge and truth. ~ Only 12% of undergraduate women whose experiences fit the definition of rape, identified themselves as rape victims. ~Only 5% of undergraduate women reported their sexual assault to police. (Schwartz, M., Leggett, M. Bad Dates or Emotional Trauma- the Aftermath of Campus Sexual Assault. Violence Against Women, Vol. 5, No. 3, March, 1999.) No one has the right to minimize the experience of a survivor of any crime. We don't blame victims of robbery or murder - so why should sexual assault be any different?!?!

Rachel @ 6:29 PM PST, Feb 29, 2008

Sex is indeed an affirmation of masculinity, for it demonstrates the ability to get a woman to share the most intimate part of her body. But rape is not about sex. It is about power. It is done by pathetic losers who are unable to get into a consensual sexual relationship with another person, but instead of fixing what is wrong with them, they choose to blame others for their inability to get laid and they choose to commit rape to grasp on an illusion of power.

Michael Ejercito @ 3:17 PM PST, Feb 29, 2008

Ms. Mac Donald cites statistics that indicate that many women are hesitant to report, or even characterize, unwanted sexual contact as rape. Is there any surprise there? The way in which our society, the media, other men and women judge the behavior of women in all contexts is it any surprise that women are hesitant to speak truthfully about their discomfort, trauma, lack of memory, or downright embarrassment about being raped? At Victim Rights Law Center we see hundreds of rape victims every year. Each and every one of those victims showed tremendous courage to report the rape, because none were greeted with an encouraging response.

Lydia C. Watts, Esq. @ 8:31 AM PST, Feb 29, 2008

Thank you for your thoughtful response to what is obviously an uninformed, obtuse, and intentionally antagonistic point of view. I would want MacDonald and others to realize that rape is indeed a choice, a choice that flows from the inequities of gender and the pervasive subjugation of women in our society. Rape is especially alive on the college campus where many self-conscious males use sex as a vehicle for the performance and affirmation of their myopic masculinity. It wil not abate until men collectively assume responsibility in the dismantling of male oppression and the reworking of the ontological notions of masculinity.

Brian D. Reed @ 7:00 AM PST, Feb 29, 2008

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