Clown-O-Meter: 9/1/11

Justice is served: Michael Andes allegedly parked his car in a handicapped space in Shelton without a handicapped permit and called the police to report it, apparently to show that they were not enforcing parking laws. He reportedly called the dispatcher 15 times, screaming that no one had come to ticket him. When police arrived, Andes, 29, apparently changed his mind about wanting them there and made threatening gestures, causing them to stun him with a Taser. The Connecticut Post reports he was charged with breach of peace and interfering with an officer and, as requested, also got a parking ticket.

Joan Flannery of Shelton is suing the neighbor she claims stuck his hand up her horse's vagina. Flannery is demanding $5,000 from Marian Wegiel, who was arrested on animal abuse charges last year and got accelerated probation, for emotional distress and the cost of her corral's new locks and security cameras. (She also says the incident sheds a dubious new light on the death of another horse, from a vaginal infection.) An attorney for Weigel, 63, again told the New Haven Register he was just comforting the horse after it was startled by a noise and may have inadvertently got his hand stuck up there.

With his shirt removed and his pants around his ankles, 28-year-old Tremain Stephens allegedly chased a cleaning woman around his Stamford apartment building while shouting "mommy" and "hey, baby." After he was arrested, Stephens (who police say seemed "zoned out") drank water out of his cell's toilet, police told the Stamford Advocate.

Greenwich often allows TV shows to film around town but the first selectman's office deemed a proposal from an ABC hidden camera show called "What Would You Do?" too disruptive, reports Greenwich Time. The show's request: allow an actor to pretend to be drunk and ask a child accompanying him to drive them home and see if anyone interfered. (ABC said they went ahead and staged a "nanny abuse" incident in spite of the decree.)

Middletown Gone Wild, Part 1: As police moved in to arrest James Colby and his girlfriend Frances Justiniano on breach of peace charges, Justiniano allegedly kicked, screamed and then fell to the ground motionless with her eyes closed. Colby (who admitted he was drunk on Jagermeister) jumped on top of her and darted his head around to make eye contact with each officer as he growled, police told the Middletown Press.

Middletown Gone Wild, Part 2: After allegedly drinking all night, a 54-year-old woman reportedly got upset the man engaged to her daughter bought cigars not cigarettes and threw a beer, which bounced against the wall and hit him in the face. Police told the Middletown Patch website that once they roused her from the living room floor (where she said she was sleeping because of bedbugs), she screamed that her future son-in-law "deals pills when he's not stealing from me."

Middletown Gone Wild, Part 3: When police spotted Cheryl A. Russin, wanted on an outstanding warrant, they say she gave them a fake name — despite the fact that "Cher" (short for Cheryl) is tattooed on her arm, reports the Middletown Patch site.

This domestic dispute has been directed by Quentin Tarantino: Kayla Roman-Olan, 22, allegedly came into her estranged husband's New Britain home, saw him with another woman, grabbed a decorative sword from the wall and swung it at both of them, reports the New Britain Herald.

Connecticut's most crotchety: AFairfield resident called police to report a 3-year-old neighbor took a single tomato from his garden. According to theFairfield Citizen, he wanted an officer to come by and chide the kid, but police just called his parents.

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