Readers React: A frank discussion on end-of-life care and terminal illness

The story of 29-year-old Brittany Maynard — a former California resident who moved to Oregon for its “death with dignity” law after learning she had incurable brain cancer — prompted many readers to share their own experiences of caring for loved ones facing imminent, painful deaths. After Maynard’s death last Saturday, several more readers expressed regret that their family members didn’t have the choices Maynard had.

Whether or not other states start following Oregon’s lead, judging by the letters we’ve received, Maynard’s story has sparked a frank conversation on terminal illness and what choices we have (or don’t have) before the inevitable happens.

Terry Kay of La Cañada Flintridge pleads for terminally ill patients to be given a choice:

After several years of battling terminal cancer, rather than enduring a painful and demeaning last six months of “life,” my father, at age 82, took his own life with a gunshot to his head. My mother was the first to find him, and you might try to imagine (and of course, we cannot) what a horrible situation this was for her and all of us.

I never had a chance to say goodbye or for both of us to say how much we loved each other — just a phone call that my father had killed himself. This is wrong at every level and needs to be changed. He never had a choice.

We need choices, we need compassion, and we need dignity at every phase of life. We are more compassionate with our animals in ending their lives than we are with our fellow human beings. It’s time we woke up, grew up and started doing the right things.

The Rev. James Dallas of Apple Valley tells of his late wife’s illness.

After an agonizing three-year struggle with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, my beautiful wife of 37 years died last week. She spent her last 18 months suffering total physical immobility and unimaginable mental anguish. We would not allow this to happen to our pets.

Thank you for your editorial last week on “death with dignity” laws, particularly the last paragraph on how people facing imminent death should be allowed to do so peacefully and without agony.

Retired physician Patrick A. Mauer of Pasadena responds to a letter from a reader whose husband died of cancer:

I read with sorrow Karen Shapiro’s letter on Tuesday about her husband. A terminal patient being given continued treatment despite his expressed wish to die should not happen and need not have happened, regardless of state laws regarding physician assisted suicide.

It is a patient’s absolute legal right to refuse treatment. There are numerous hospice organizations that provide care aimed at the patient’s comfort and allow the patient to die without ineffective chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries and the like.

It is a sad commentary on medical care when a patient’s clearly stated wishes are ignored. I wonder if his wishes were communicated to his doctors.

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