As I was saying ...
... Apparently I went to the bathroom on April 15, 2009, and just got back. Wow, I sure feel better.
Wish I could say the same for the Orlando Magic. (Bada bing.) From an Orlando sports perspective, the sad saga of the Magic and
So should I play
My work is done.
Let's move on.
The Fab Five Picks
Miami at Houston —
Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah ... Did you watch "Hard Knocks," too?
Jerry says: Amused Texans by just 11.
Carolina at Tampa —
We can neither confirm nor deny that new Yucs Coach
Jerry says: Panthers by 5.
Jacksonville at Minnesota —
Four out of five
Jerry says: In Vikes-get-pillaged Upset Special, Jags by 3.
Indianapolis at Chicago — Da
Magic fans should adopt the Dolts for inspirational purposes. After hitting the bottom last year, they got the first pick and found a great-looking QB. So they should be back to the playoffs in no more than, oh, three or four years. Feel better, Magic fans?
Jerry says: Da Bears by 12.
Buffalo at East Rutherford
A salute to the
Jerry says: In a Tim-swears-it-will-never-happen-again Upset Special,
You can find all of my Week 1 picks at thebeatofsports.com — and also enter
Here's the notes, folks
•I know what's on your mind: This
Speaking of Dwight Howard, if you are not a fan of TMZ you may have missed Howard's tale that he sat on a toilet and the earth shook — or something like that.
Mountain Dew mixed with orange juice? Taco Bell is loco.
How would you like to be the guy whose job is to clean Jerry Jones' glasses — on national TV? But what am I sayin'? A job is a job.
Don't care what Cleveland says. You did good, Art Modell.
Closing with a monkey story
Our first Sunday together in a long time, so we want to finish strong. What can be better than an epic story about a mysterious monkey in the jungles of Tampa? Jon Mooallem wrote it a few weeks back for
Have a great Sunday and see you next week.