Readers tee off — on Rick Scott, drug tests and me

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More letters and calls from thoughtful readers.

Maxwell, you are a moron. You write for [expletive]. Why don't you get [expletive]. I'm sure that would be the high point of your day, you [expletive]. Tim

Actually, Tim, the highlight of my day is hearing from informed readers who eloquently express themselves.

Scott, I know you tick off a lot of the neo-cons. But I appreciate you speaking up for us moderates. June

Actually, June, Tim was a liberal. He didn't like my column explaining that Florida law doesn't allow Rick Scott (or any governor) to be kicked out of office for much of anything short of a crime.

Why do we have to wait for him to do something illegal? Can't we all just agree he's a jerk? Kay

Not unless you get legislators to pass a law that statutorily defines jerk-hood.

Scott, who are these people who want to give red capes to the unemployed? This must be a joke, right? Chuck

Afraid not, Chuck. What we have here are good intentions that missed the mark … by a lot … like if you were trying to help a baby seal, but accidentally clubbed it instead. The group is Workforce Central Florida, which created the cartoon villain, "Dr. Evil Unemployment." The federally funded agency then spent $14,000 on red capes that the jobless could wear to "fight" Dr. Evil. Why? Because that's what an unemployed single mother wants, right? A bright red cape that screams: "Look at me! I'm jobless! And my superpower is an unnatural willingness to wear goofy clothing!" The only good thing about this campaign was that, unlike some groups that make bone-headed moves, this agency had the sense to end it.

Today's column ["Why fool around? Drug tests for everybody!" April 1] was brilliant! I'm still laughing. Leslie

Thanks, Leslie. The vast majority of readers panned Gov. Scott's plan to spend millions of dollars to repeatedly drug test clean and sober state workers. Aside from the constitutional concerns about this idea, most fiscal conservatives found the prospect of testing as many as 100,000 workers — who have given no indication whatsoever that they use drugs — a massive waste of money during serious economic times.

Scott, as a single mother, I put myself through undergraduate and graduate school.  In 1988, I went to work for the state at a starting salary of $26,000.  Despite numerous promotions, awards, and years of outstanding performance evaluations, my salary today leaves me less spendable income than I had in 1988.  But the governor of our state is worried that, at age 60, I might be on drugs. Thanks, Florida, for your respect and commitment to the people who really work for you, the state workerMary

Mary, you sound like a real doper.

If one person has to do it, NOBODY else should be exempt. I've been drug tested. Is it right? I don't think so. But that doesn't make it OK for someone else not to take one if I have to. Beverly

So, Beverly, if I've got this right, you didn't think it was right to test you … which is why you now think they should test everyone else. It's hard to argue with that. Literally.

I hope, just like all newspapers, you go out of business … you [expletive]. Joe

Man, what's up with the language today? But come on, Joe. If the newspaper went out of business, who would you call up at 5 in the morning with your slurred, racist and profanity-laden messages?

I think I love you Scott Maxwell. But I think I'll be moving out of Florida in May, because I can't stand the governor. Nancy

Alas, Nancy, it sounds like our romance shall end before it actually began.

You're a little [expletive] who can't even [expletive]. Why don't you write more about the way Corrine Brown talks? Oh, I know, because she's black! Joe

C'mon, Joe. Nancy and I were trying to share a moment. But sure, I can let Congresswoman Brown know your oratorical skills are available.

I just can't believe Gov. Scott cut money for the disabled. ["Targeting disabled: It's heartless, impractical," April 8]. I'm a lifelong conservative who voted for Barry Goldwater. But I have to tell ya: This is too much. C.W.

Amen, C.W. It has been long said that society is judged upon how it treats its most vulnerable members.

You know, you're not even funny, you [expletive]. You're no comedian, you [expletive]-[expletive]. Joe

You know, Joe, you're probably right. You know who is funny? Mike Thomas. Maybe you should give him a call.

smaxwell@tribune.com 407-420-6141

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