It's been a long f--king wait--get it? "It's About Time"?--but "Girls" finally returned for its season 2 premiere this week.
So what's happening? In short, Hannah tries to distance herself romantically from Adam (despite still tending to his broken leg out of guilt) with a new guy (Donald Glover as a black Republican) and plans a housewarming party at her newly redecorated apartment she now shares with her ex-boyfriend Elijah. Marnie gets laid off from her job and apparently stops eating. Shoshanna experiences how confusing and shitty life can be on the other side of the virginity fence. Jessa returns from her honeymoon with the guy she married and barely knows (where he lives). And now, the highlights!
Season 2, Episode 1
"Hannah throws a party with her new roommate, Elijah, and is ready to move on in her romantic life despite still tending to a needy Adam and his broken leg. Meanwhile, Shoshanna does her best to avoid Ray."
"Sorry, I have a boner. It's not for you." --Elijah
"I thank the higher powers for all of the gifts that I have already received, like a keen mathamathical mind and relatively fast-growing hair" --Shoshanna
"This was fun at the beginning, but it's really hard to run with a boner" --Sandy
"When you love someone, you don't have to be nice all the time." --Adam
"You look ... can I be honest? 30 years old." --Marnie's mom
"I wouldn't even sleep with a cater waiter, and they're my age." --Marnie
"All your nights can't be food nights though" --Elijah
"I may be deflowered, but I am not devalued" --Shoshanna
"Adam's gonna be fine, you already changed his bedpan once today." --Elijah
"I actually realized the other day that I could go like 8 months with no sex and i'd be totally fine." --Marnie
"A panda next to a gun next to a wrapped gift? It makes no sense." --Ray
"You're the best thing in my life, I don't know how to behave without you, I'd die if you go away." --Adam
"People are so prejudiced against bisexuals. It's like the only group of people you can still make fun of. Bisexuals ... and Germans. And I happen to be both of them." --Elijah
We're going to ... I don't know where we live, I don't know your address." --Jessa
Best scene: Marnie has sex with Elijah?
Er, kind of. If any scene in the premiere shows how lost and down in the gutter our girls really are after the many fallouts from the end of the first season, this is it. (And if you didn't have a boner for Andrew Rannells before, you totally do now.) In a moment of vulnerability for both of them after karaoke'ing Sarah McLachlan alone in the living room after the party, Elijah makes a move on Marnie, who rebuffs him before, um, realizing he is impossibly hot and gives in. Three pumps and a couple of eye-rolls later, they snap back to reality and give up. Marnie tells Elijah he "doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not." "Neither do you," he responds. Woof.
Elijah broke out from background fringe player to all-around leading man in the premiere. He had all the best lines, wore the best underwear and EVEN THOUGH he has 3-pump sex with Marnie, managed to pull off the win in Sunday's episode. We're looking forward to MUCH more of him this season.
Runner up: Hannah. Yes, Hannah. We were surprised too. But Hannah's throwing adult parties, branching out to new men, and standing up to Adam while still taking care of him. She does some shitty stuff too, but come on, it's Hannah.
Remember when we thought Marnie couldn't get any lower? Welllll, she still had plenty of room to lose her job, start looking like a carrot stick, get insulted by her mother and attempt to have sex with Elijah. We're a little worried about our most Type-A Girl, who might need a serious friend intervention before this season is up.
We'll be back next week with another "Girls" recap. What's to come? We get a closer look at Hannah's new relationship, Shoshanna and Ray get serious, Jessa settles down and Marnie gets a new gig.