1/2* (out of four)
Rather than fun for the whole family, "Parental Guidance" is more like a hole for the fun family--a shrill, depressing pit where laughs and joy do not exist.
Played by squawking human parrot
He's so nice, in fact, that he wants to pass on the opportunity for he and his wife Diane (Bette Midler) to babysit their three grandchildren when Artie and Diane's daughter Alice (
Anyway, it's no wonder Alice has her reservations. Artie rudely tells Turner's (Joshua Rush) speech therapist how to do her job and compares Barker's car-seat belt to his grandma's bra; Diane discusses drinking and smoking when she's not telling 12-year-old Harper (Bailee Madison) about how Diane used to get her weather girl gigs mostly as a result of her tight dress.
Crystal hasn't had a lead role since 2002's "Analyze That," and his comic sensibilities are at this point just a pile of mothballs. Matching her co-star, Midler mugs with such gracelessness that her comedic timing pales compared to the family's talking house.
These adults mostly mean well, but their foibles could hardly be more painful. Artie focuses on a ridiculous live broadcasting audition for the
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