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Oscars' French Kiss

Oscars' French Kiss
Best actor winner Jean Dujardin holds Uggie the dog after "The Artist" won best picture at Sunday's Oscars. (AFP/Getty Images)

Hollywood got it right on Sunday, as

Adam Sandler

picked up a record 11 Razzie nominations. Congratulations, Adam, you deserve it!

Oh, right, the Oscars. As expected, "The Artist," the best picture nominated for best picture, took home the top prize at the 84th Academy Awards, as well as best director (

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Michel Hazanavicius
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) and best actor (the immensely likable

Jean Dujardin

). That left

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George Clooney
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empty-handed, going home with only a lovely gold trophy by the name of

Stacy Keibler

.

Meryl Streep

surprised everyone, including favorite

Viola Davis,

by winning best actress for the mediocre "The Iron Lady."

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"When they called my name I had this feeling I could hear half of America going, 'Oh no!' ...," Streep said. "But whatever."

Davis' "The Help" co-star

Octavia Spencer

received a standing ovation when she won best supporting actress, but her moving speech was cut short by producers.

Christopher Plummer

won best supporting actor for "Beginners," which was 100 percent guaranteed about six months ago. At 82, he is now the oldest actor to ever win an Oscar. And in case we couldn't tell that Plummer was in his 80s, host

Billy Crystal

made multiple jokes about the age of both Plummer and fellow best supporting actor nominee

Max Von Sydow

.

Hosting for the ninth time, Crystal surprised everyone toward the beginning of the show by … doing exactly what he always does, singing. After last year's failed attempt to be young and hip, the Oscars' approach this year was clearly, "Ah, hell, let's just do what worked before."

Crystal awkwardly made a crack about Best Supporting Actor nominee

Jonah Hill

's weight loss--Hill did not look happy--and followed Spencer's win by saying "The Help" made him want to hug a black woman. Uh, not the best way to endorse a movie some felt touched more on white guilt than the African-American experience. Presenting best animated feature (which went to "Rango," rather than the un-nominated and far more deserving "Winnie the Pooh"), Chris Rock was much funnier in one minute than Crystal was all night.

In the presenters department, Emma Stone displayed effortless charm, the "Bridesmaids" cast delivered welcome silliness and

Jennifer Lopez

dared her nipples to emerge, with her dress barely proving victorious. A Cirque du Soleil performance showed us what "North by Northwest" might have been like if Cary Grant used a trapeze, so that answers that question. And a strange beeping feedback noise accompanied most presenters and winners, continually making viewers around the world check their phones to make sure they didn't miss a text.

"Hugo" was the night's big winner in the technical categories, so be sure to listen for the sound mixing if you see the movie. More worth seeing is best foreign language film "A Separation" and best documentary "Undefeated," which opens Friday. Good timing, huh? About as good as Sacha Baron Cohen's, as he poured ashes on Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet and told him he was now wearing Kim Jong-il. That's the sort of surprise that doesn't appear nearly enough during the Oscars themselves.

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