** (out of four)
Perhaps on some level people fixate on the Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson offscreen drama because nothing in “The Twilight Saga” burns as strongly or clearly as infidelity.
Yes, there’s the totally monumental love between vampire Edward (Pattinson) and former human, new vampire Bella (Stewart). Yet the films based on
Nevermind that the primary conflict in the voiceover-heavy “BDP2” revolves around an assumed misunderstanding and the hope that there’s enough time for Edward and Bella’s daughter, Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy), to touch the face of Volturi leader Aro (Michael Sheen). The film, already crowded with family and friends who barely contribute, adds something like 20 to 30 new characters. Several of them appear, say or do nothing, and depart as if it’s a big deal. It’s pretty difficult to care which vampires may have their heads yanked off like a twisted kid’s Pez dispenser when you’re constantly thinking, “Who is that again?” or “What’s up with that old guy who kind of looks like Bill Nighy?” And, “Does anyone actually think ‘paralyzing vapor’ looks intimidating?”
Fortunately, the space fillers include great actors like
It’s still hard for viewers to immerse themselves in a world with such poor special effects, and “BDP2” enhances its soap opera’s corniness without intensifying the feelings. Jacob (forever-terrible
The finale suggests the entire franchise probably could have been condensed to one or two movies and been a lot better off. Instead, a massively hyped series comes to an end without making much of an impression in four years and five movies. Clearly time flies even when we're not having any fun.
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