Thank you, Newt, for ensuring that Mitt Romney does not win the nomination in a cakewalk. He doesn’t deserve it.
Yesterday, Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey—in his sad, yet trenchant endorsement comments—exhorted caucus-goers to vote for Romney because he was the only Republican who would not embarrass Americans in the Oval Office. This is not a good enough reason for him to coast into the finals. Besides, you know exactly who that blowhard was talking about, don’t you, Newt?
You alone have the intelligence, the experience, the savvy, the ego, the hauteur, and most important of all—the chutzpah, to buck the pooh-bahs of the party and create a living primary hell for the Pomaded One. Of all your past antics—and they have been legion—it will be your greatest gift to that same media you loathe.
And, should you win, we will scatter rose petals at your feet as you mount the debate stage to face Barack Obama, because from the media’s point of view, this will be the most spectacular bout since Muhammad Ali faced Sonny Liston.
Onward, Newt! May the wind always be at your back, and may it blow thousand-dollar bills into your capacious pockets.
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