Juggling work and motherhood requires tenacity

A young relative of mine recently made an important decision. After much soul-searching and discussion with her husband, the mother of two made the choice to not return to work following the birth of her youngest daughter.

It wasn’t an easy decision, and it certainly wasn’t made lightly. Many factors had to be weighed. Was the stress of juggling work and motherhood worth it? Would her family be able to make it on her husband’s salary alone? If she had returned to her job –– ironically, she worked at a daycare facility –– how would they patch together their childcare needs?

I thought about her struggle when I read of a recent report from the Center for American Progress. One of the report’s major findings is that women like my young relative –– that is, a mother who does not participate in the paid labor force – are increasingly an anomaly.

While there are differences among various racial, economic and geographical subgroups, the authors of the report stated, “one overarching fact remains indisputably true: With the majority of women working for pay, and their earnings being so vital to the economic well-being of their families, the days of full-time, stay-at-home mothers are long past.

“Women are crucial economic actors for their families, local communities, and the overall U.S. economy,” they wrote.

Nearly two-thirds of American mothers are major breadwinners, the report stated. That marks a slight increase from 2012, when the center last studied this issue, and a big leap from 1970, when only about one-quarter of U.S. moms were categorized that way. And 42% of mothers were their family’s sole or primary breadwinners, meaning they accounted for at least half of total family earnings.

That wasn’t the only important point the report made. Indeed, there were several other findings that have enormous socioeconomic relevance.

One key finding, for instance, is that for the most part mothers work because they must. They are very often the heads of single-parent households, or find that two incomes are necessary to provide adequately for their families. Nonetheless, the burden of childcare duties still fall disproportionately on women.

I hope this finding helps put to rest the tired and unfair cliche of working moms as selfish, career-obsessed women who value their egos more than their children. The last thing these mothers –– or their kids, for that matter –– need is societal pressure to guilt them into thinking they are somehow less-than because they hold down jobs outside the home.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence as both a stay-at-home mom (for lack of a better term), and a working mother with a demanding full-time job. Both situations have their own challenges and rewards. Yet I’m convinced that the vast majority of mothers, no matter their circumstances, put their families’ welfare first and work mightily to juggle all their responsibilities while giving their kids a stable and secure upbringing.

We need to accept the reality of our modern world. Most moms now work. Their families need them to work. And employers need them too. It’s in everyone’s interest to continue to make workplaces more friendly and accommodating to working mothers.

Nonetheless, the study also pointed out the many obstacles that working mothers still encounter.

The fact that the role of women has evolved and they are now major breadwinners “does not mean that there is gender parity in the workforce, nor does it mean that working parents and caregivers have the supports they so vitally need,” the authors wrote.

The gender wage gap remains a big issue, they said.

Indeed, the widely reported statistics indicating that women on average earn only about 78% of what men earn only tell part of the story. According to the American Assn. of University Women, the pay gap is even bigger for working mothers, who receive 70 cents for every dollar working fathers earn.

In addition, the Women in the Workplace 2016 study conducted by LeanIn.Org and the consulting firm McKinsey found that women are far less likely than men to receive pay raises and promotions. Upper management ranks remain noticeably lacking in women.

The Center for American Progress noted that working mothers are held back in many ways, and the report’s authors urged that priority be given to developing and encouraging practical, family-friendly workplace policies. They suggested that universal paid family and medical leave, paid sick days and increased workplace flexibility would go a long way toward making the working world more accommodating to mothers and their families.

Another critical barrier that impacts working mothers most of all, they said, is the soaring cost of child care. The lack of access to convenient, affordable care can often be the factor keeping women out of the workforce, or in limiting their earnings opportunities. Far more needs to be done, the authors said, to bring labor standards and workplace policies in line with the evolving nature of the workforce.

But they also injected an optimistic note, one that gives women their due.

“It is a testament to the hard work and tenacity of women that they have reached the level they occupy today,” they said.

It’s long past time that we fully recognize and reward that tenacity.

PATRICE APODACA is a former Newport-Mesa public school parent and former Los Angeles Times staff writer. She lives in Newport Beach.