Read On: You’re a winner every day you lose
If you’re reading this, I’m assuming that you didn’t win a share of this week’s $1.58 billion Powerball jackpot. It’s too bad, because you had the money practically spent in your head, didn’t you? Between buying the little Ferrari you’d had your eye on, snapping up that small Caribbean island and purchasing a Congressman or two, that bonanza sure was gonna be sweet, wasn’t it?
I know what a difficult time this is for you.
But cheer up. It turns out that losing the lottery was one of the best things that’s ever happened to you. Trust me that I’ve studied up on this stuff, and hitting a jackpot is practically never the carefree trip to Fat City that you dreamed it was going to be.
You always hear the horror stories of folks who win big jackpots and wind up penniless and on the street, their marriage kaput, their friends and family members refusing to speak to them. History tells us that these, rather than the happily-ever-afters, are the norm rather than the exception.
Why does what we perceive to be the ultimate dream so often turn into our greatest nightmare? Here are 10 reasons:
1. After you win a big jackpot, you will have experienced your last honest interaction with a human being. Everyone, aside from a precious few trusted loved ones and close friends, either will want something from you or create the fear and mistrust that they do.
2. To that same end, every modest acquaintance and loosely affiliated family member whom you’ve ever met will have a sob story and hope to get on your good side to attract some of that loot. And if you go out to dinner or out of town with any of them, they will have forgotten to bring their wallet or purse.
3. Those friends and family whom you do decide to lend money will perceive it as a gift — and not a generous enough one. If you ask them to pay it back, there will be hell to pay instead. But if you explain you can’t lend them or give them any cash, you will be perceived a despised miser, because everyone feels entitled.
4. Every charity, scam artist and thief in existence will be looking to separate you from a good chunk of your windfall. Frivolous lawsuits (slipping and falling on your property, rear-ending your Bentley) can also be expected. As a result, you’ll be left a paranoid mess, questioning the motives of everyone who crosses your path.
5. Your risk of bankruptcy increases substantially after winning a lottery fortune. Why? Because you will be extended oodles of credit and lose track of what’s an asset and what’s a debt. You’ll think you can buy and afford anything you want on an impulse. And you’ll never think the gravy train will stop — until it smashes into a wall.
6. The odds are that your family life will fall apart. As things veer out of control, you may well turn to drugs and cheap thrills via outside affairs. Trust often flies out the window, along with your health and sense of well-being.
7. Every interaction with a new person will be scrutinized by you with an extra layer of suspicion. As a result, you’ll clam up and start avoiding people entirely, allowing even longtime friendships to dissolve.
8. You’ll ultimately grow depressed because your newfound understanding of human nature and its propensity toward greed is so utterly disheartening.
9. Despite the big win, you’ll likely feel empty and unfulfilled, because buying and having stuff doesn’t bring genuine satisfaction over the long haul. Yet if you ever complain about how winning the lottery has ruined your life, no one will feel sorry for you. Quite the contrary, they’re likely to think you insane. And a complete jerk.
10. Indeed, sympathy is something you shouldn’t expect. If your win was sufficiently substantial, the media will love nothing more than dancing all over your pity party, as will trolls throughout the social media world. The planet tends to wildly celebrate when money buys misery rather than happiness.
Still want to win Powerball? No? Good, because you probably never will. And if you did, your life would be pretty much over. So let’s all raise a glass to your tragic loss.
--
RAY RICHMOND has covered Hollywood and the entertainment business since 1984. He can be reached via email at ray@rayrichco.com and Twitter at @MeGoodWriter.