Column: The Focused Student: There are benefits to maintaining those ties that bind
High school is a place where students learn new things, meet new people and often form friendships that will persist across time, space and place.
Of course, the long-term friendships don’t always gel right away. For those of us who graduated from La Cañada High School decades ago, there was an interval of about 25 years until the first Monsoon.
The Monsoon I’m talking about contains no rain. It is the name of a golf event that the “boys” from LCHS class of ’71 (plus or minus a few years) hold annually. It’s the story of how some members of one class have managed to stay together and in touch, despite having scattered to the winds, pursuing different paths and arriving at different destinations.
“Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?”
— Big Yellow Taxi, Joni Mitchell
It’s true that you often don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone. With a bit of distance and maturity, you perhaps realize that the people you went through algebra and art with had some special qualities. Some of them (like us) needed a bit of maturing or polishing before they were ready to be part of your business or friend network, or in your wedding or life. But ready they are. Maybe you make contact, tentatively, after several years. A few things click and suddenly you are in touch with people willing to share your ups and downs, trials and travails. Or at least your Monsoon.
As is usually the case, Monsoon has three dynamos who make it happen. Greg, the ’71 class president; Don, the organizer and Larry, the social media giant, do the arranging, contacting and sometimes cajoling. And, every year, 30 to 40 people show up. Not always the same 30 or 40, which is part of what makes it fun.
There are many benefits to maintaining those relationships beyond high school. I have a number of high school friends whose sons or daughters have come through Hillside. It is always great to catch up and they know that I care about their kids.
As graduation occurs, think of it as the end of high school and the start of deeper friendships for your student. In the case of La Cañada High School, many of us traveled from elementary to high school together. My son, who attended St. Francis High School, feels the same way about his graduating class, as do graduates from Flintridge Prep, Flintridge Sacred Heart Academy and others. I would encourage graduating seniors to stay in touch with their friends and to reach beyond their immediate “friends now” group. It’s amazing how the “out” kids can be “in” a few years later, and those not considered the smartest may well be the most successful entrepreneurs or artists. As famed ’60s oracle Bob Dylan said:
The slowest now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is rapidly fading
And the first one now will later be last
’Cause the times they are a-changing
Invite your kids to make both friends and memories, starting now. I don’t know if the Monsoon group is unique or commonplace, but I know that the annual reconnecting means a lot more to me now than it did then.
ROBERT FRANK is the executive director of the Hillside School and Learning Center in La Cañada. He holds a master’s of science degree in special education and has more than 40 years of teaching experience. His column appears on the last Thursday of each month. He can be reached at frank@hillsideforsuccess.org.
