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Thoughts From Dr. Joe: Reflections stirred up by Thanksgiving

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I love Thanksgiving, and not for the turkey and pumpkin pie. Instead, I prefer lasagna and stuffed artichoke. Regardless, Thanksgiving is a feast whose foundation is giving thanks for the American bounty.

The holiday has a deeper meaning. As a boy, I recall traveling over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house in Uniontown, Pa. Our family would close Puglia’s Delicatessen on Thanksgiving Eve and make the overnight trip. We’d arrive from New York at Nona’s early Thanksgiving morning. My Aunt Eve prepared a memorable feast. It was never the food. It was the family that defined the essence of the season. In 1970, when I was in Vietnam, Aunt Eve set a plate at the table for me. I’ve never forgotten that loving gesture.

What I find interesting about aging is watching the maturation of the younger generation as they formulate the memories that will propel them into the future. Over the years, I’ve learned the art of observation. This Thanksgiving, as I sat on my usual perch in Starbucks, I enjoyed watching the young adults return to La Cañada from their respective universities. I liked seeing the excitement in their eyes as they reconnected with old friends from the local high schools.

They are students attending universities in Boston, Texas and North Carolina and all points north, south and east. They congregated at tables and exchanged stories about their new lives and dreams. It was exciting to observe their rite of passage coming to fruition. I surmise that while they have been away at college, the world had whispered its secrets in their ear. When I was their age, I heard those same secrets. I wonder if they understood that in the final analysis, it’s what you do with these secrets that matter.

I know many of the local college-age kids. I was a Girl Scout troop leader for 13 years, had recess duty at La Cañada Elementary and have two daughters attending college.

Throughout the week, I spoke to many of these students. I wanted to know the climate of their campuses regarding the election. I sensed a feeling of angst.

In 1859, Charles Dickens’ book “A Tale of Two Cities” was published. Its often-repeated first sentence defines America and the world: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” In 1776, Thomas Paine wrote, “These are the times that try men’s souls.” Regardless of how we struggle to cope with the anxieties of life, they are perennial. Can we truly change the world? During their Age of Aquarius, my generation tried to do so. When studying philosophy I learned that you couldn’t change the world, you can only change yourself. Maybe to change the world you have to first change yourself. But it’s a lot more complicated than that.

William James, the father of American psychology, wrote specific directions regarding the path to meaning. He explained in “What Makes Life Significant” that it is the “great devotions” of life that provide the foundation of meaning. He explained that significance lies in dealing with the imperfections of the world.

These are remarkable times for students with opportunities to self-actualize their most salient endeavors. I’m afraid university professors are not preparing their students for future challenges, but instead dealing with the platitudes of political correctness in academic safe zones.

I told these students to read the first line of Kipling’s poem, “If.” It’s the antidote to the malaise of angst prevalent in academia: “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you ...”

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JOE PUGLIA is a practicing counselor, a retired professor of education and a former officer in the Marines. Reach him at doctorjoe@ymail.com. Visit his website at doctorjoe.us.

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