David Beckham is there, but real Lakers fans are missing

Of all the NBA Finals injuries real and imagined, we've sorely neglected to detail the severe bruising suffered by many Staples Center patrons' hands.

You know, from sitting on them.

As if battling history and hopelessness is not enough, the Lakers will have to beat the Boston Celtics today with one home court tied behind their back.

They will have to keep their season alive in a place that's gone dead.

They will have to wound a giant with plastic Staples.

In two games in these Finals, a Lakers home crowd that once soared like Kobe Bryant has had all the impact of DJ Mbenga.

No, no, no, this is not a rip of Lakers fans, who are among sports' most passionate and loyal.

At the Finals, there's just not enough of them.

"Maybe only 50% of the Finals crowd is Laker fans, and that makes a huge difference," said Geno Apicella, a 22-year season-ticket holder from Burbank.

"When things happen, most people are either afraid to wrinkle their shirts or standing in line at McDonald's."

Or waiting for Justin Timberlake to dance, or Will Smith to kiss, or David Beckham to clap.

"Think about it -- has anyone ever seen David Beckham actually clap?" Apicella said. "Do many of these people even watch the games?"

Judging from the reaction during Thursday night's historic 24-point meltdown, the answer is no.

While the skidding Lakers bounced off guard rails and bumpers, many of the 20,000 witnesses simply rolled up their windows and stared.

Kobe Bryant was shooting free throws down the stretch, yet there were no huge chants of "MVP, MVP, MVP."

A weary team was trying to guard a refreshed team, yet rarely were there cries of "Dee-fense, dee-fense."

That the Lakers lost is certainly not the fault of folks whose $300 entitles them do to whatever they please.

But during a postseason when home-court advantage reached historic levels, it's important to note that Boston has it in shamrocks, and the Lakers only barely.

"Late in Thursday's game, my wife whispered to me that the woman sitting next to her had no idea what was going on," said Michael Balzary, a season-ticket holder better known as the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Flea."

When the camera puts him on the giant video board, he never immediately notices, because he is always crazily cheering, which puts him in the Finals minority.