My neurologist Dr. Doojin Kim said he could find nothing between my ears.
"Nothing to be worried about," he said in offering great news after showing me brain tests, while predicting in his own way I would last longer around here than Steve Alford.
Yet I was almost forced to call 911.
I told one team official I would be around for some time, and I thought I was going to have to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on him.
You probably had the same reaction when learning the contract of UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero had been extended to 2019.
How does the athletic director at UCLA — who still speaks of John Wooden as if he matters, with a new statue of Wooden outside Pauley — stage a news conference on the Nellie and John Wooden Court to announce the hiring of the top disciple of Wooden's No. 1 naysayer, Bob Knight?
And get a raise as a result?
Based on everything that is being sent to me detailing how Alford has turned off so many elsewhere, when Guerrero said he vetted Alford, I wonder if that means he just looked at a media guide.
Oh well, that just means I get to write about Guerrero until 2019, and won't that be fun.
As good as I now feel, I've also agreed to spend time with Jim Mora even though Mora will have a club in his hand. My good buddy called to invite me to his May 20th golf tournament at Riviera.
Now how do you turn down someone who is so dedicated to raising money for children at risk that he has his own family foundation, Count on Me? That's my kind of guy.
Of course we still have to work out the details. But I presume I'll be staked out on one of the par-threes, allowing the Bruins' faithful a chance to get closest to the numskull and win prizes. Keep in mind that's "closest."
Right now nothing can hurt me after hearing from Dr. Kim, my future probably brighter than the Lakers'.
I'm not even sure the Lakers have a future.
That's where I sit this Friday night before the game, a question whether the Lakers can beat the Grizzlies and Clippers this weekend, a far cry from the time when we thought they were a lock to play the Heat in the Finals.
So what do you think, Mike D'Antoni, knowing it would only be a matter of seconds before I got an "I don't know."
"That's our plan," said D'Antoni.
"I know what your plan is," I said. "What do you think?"
"I don't know," said D'Antoni.