They're not-so-artful Dodgers when it comes to a deal

You might want to hold your nose.

Angel Berroa. Mark Sweeney. Scott Proctor. Thomas Perez. Brady Clark. Marlon Anderson. Julio Lugo. Greg Maddux. Wilson Betemit. Elmer Dessens. B.J. LaMura. Mark Hendrickson. Toby Hall. Ben Kozlowski. Danys Baez. Jae Sao. Tim Hamulack. Lance Carter. And Andre Ethier for Milton Bradley -- Bradley tied with Alex Rodriguez early Tuesday for the best batting average in the American League.

And now comes word Ned Colletti will be in meetings all afternoon, maybe the scariest news a Dodgers fan can hear these days if he's in there working on another trade before the July 31 deadline.

Look at the list of what Colletti has acquired since being hired in late 2005, and that doesn't include Esteban Loaiza plucked off waivers for $7 million, or the free-agent disasters.

"Hey, I was right there with Brian Cashman when we brought in Carl Pavano," said Dodgers Manager Joe Torre in trying to defend Colletti, and isn't that encouraging news, two guys now with no eye for talent putting their heads together to plot the Dodgers' future.

The phone rings, and it's Colletti. "Please, please, no more trades," I begin, while suggesting a vacation that might take him overseas for the next few weeks.

"I've never been to Europe," he says, and I think we could get a collection going and make that happen.

"Some of those are minor league deals and I had nothing to do with them," Colletti protests when I mention his trading track record, and while I find it odd the Dodgers' GM doesn't have final approval of all deals, he adds, "The player development people made five or six of those."

So we go over the list, and he distances himself from three of the stiffs.

"You're looking in hindsight, so your vision is perfect," says Colletti, who apparently works with blinders on, the only logical explanation for some of these deals. "Who has come back to haunt us?"

A better question, I said, "is who did you acquire who really improved the team?"

"Ethier helped us," he says. "Maddux helped us, Lugo gave us some support, Anderson certainly helped us in September of '06, and Hendrickson pitched. You do have to have players who pitch and play in the games."

No question Hendrickson made it possible for the Dodgers to put nine men on the field on the days he got batted around.

"Most fans probably have you pegged as a GM who hasn't done a very good job of bringing in talent," I suggest, and he disagrees.

"I don't know if that's fact or fiction," he says. "That's your opinion."

I offer to put it to the readers, but obviously so much hinges on the likes of NomarGarciaparra, Jason Schmidt and Andruw Jones, and so a blindfold, please for Colletti.

Then again, the Dodgers could have those three players, Brad Penny and Rafael Furcal back by the trading deadline, giving the Dodgers the chance to win a division title -- taking into consideration the level of competition in the West.

In other words, "as long as I don't foul it up by making a trade," Colletti says, and had Dan Evans and Kevin Malone been so quick, they might still be here.

"The team needs to get healthy so we can figure out if we need any more help," he says. "We definitely need to play better. We need a better feel and plan at bat. We've pitched pretty well and our bullpen has held up pretty well.

"But constituted as we are today and the approach we're taking at the plate, it'd be a tough go the rest of the way."