The Times’ college football rankings

Louisiana State can’t afford to keep winning like this. The Tigers are 2-0 the last two weeks and are dropping faster than a first-time drinker at Mardi Gras. Oregon State is No.1 in two of the six Bowl Championship Series computers and also in the “bias free” Corvallis Chamber of Commerce Index. We pulled out hair keeping USC ahead of Stanford, but you can’t go head-over-heels about head-to-head if one of the teams looked completely discombobulated in a Thursday night loss at Washington. We’d also like to welcome in No. 25 Louisiana Tech, which is 4-0 after consecutive wins at Illinois and Virginia. Some voters must think the Western Athletic Conference has already disbanded. In other news: the kickoff tee retriever in Morgantown, W.Va., ended his three-day holdout and agreed to work weekends when West Virginia is out of town.

1; Alabama 5-0; Depth will become huge issue if 15 or 16 more players are lost to season-ending injuries. (1)

2; Oregon; 5-0; Wine Advocate beat writer describes DAT: “velvety smooth, concealing enough structure to evolve for 4-5 years.” (2)

3; Florida State 5-0; Locals will pitch the HOF Raleigh (chicken) fingers when you get to N.C. State. (3)

4; West Virginia 4-0; First time in Rankman history team has moved up after surrendering 63 points. (5)

5; Kansas State 4-0; Should handle Kansas unless “out-schemed” by coach who lost to Rice and N. Illinois. (6)

6; Louisiana State 5-0; Irish backup center boasts Tigers could beat last opponent “999 out of a Towson times.” (3)

7; Texas 4-0; “Austin City Limits” welcomes “Hurricane Geno and his Band of Heisman Haymakers.” (7)

8; Georgia 5-0; Fans chant “We Want West Virginia!” after defense holds Tennessee to only 44 points. (8)

9; South Carolina 5-0; Trailed Kentucky at the half but then went into its Wildcat Victory Formation. (12)

10; Notre Dame 4-0; Once-heated series vs. Miami taken off burner to let stand 30 minutes before serving. (9)

11; Florida 4-0; Coach switches off LSU game tape and says, “Boy I’m glad we’re not playing Towson.” (13)

12; Oregon State 3-0; Riley grants exclusive postgame meal access to “Diners, Drive-ins and Dive Plays.” (16)

13; USC 3-1; Nuttyendings.com predicts Trojans will defeat Utah again by score of 17-14 and 23-14. (11)

14; Ohio State 5-0; Opponent complains grainy game tape Meyer sent was actually Marx Brothers’ “Horse Feathers.” (22)

15; Oklahoma 2-1; Local cleaners union says it’s not fair QB “Laundry” Jones is being hung out to dry. (14)

16; Clemson 4-1; Sammy Watkins back after abdominal virus attributed to drinking “Clemson Shaving Cream Soda.” (15)

17; Texas Christian 4-0; Frogs terrible in the red zone but no one said it was easy being green. (18)

18; Washington 3-1; Wine Spectator Oregon-game preview: “aromas of intense cherry and berry with ample oak.” (NR)

19; Stanford 3-1; Player forced to retake SATs after way too many dumb mistakes against Washington. (10)

20; UCLA 4-1; Mora tries to get inside opponent’s head by screaming at Cal’s sports information department. (21)

21; Rutgers 4-0; October sets up like an early Springsteen mini-tour: Connecticut, Syracuse, Temple, Kent State. (20)

22; Louisville 5-0; Proof that only half the Big East was dismantled and sold off as scrap metal. (17)

23; Northwestern 5-0; “Do-it-all junior” Kain Colter actually once, a long time ago, couldn’t do something. (24)

24; Nebraska 4-1; Shrink gives former Buckeye Bo Pelini ways to overcome his Woody Hayes Athletic Complex. (NR)

25; Louisiana Tech 4-0; Rankman discovers possible BCS underdog contender in bottom of sock drawer. (NR)

Dropped out: Boise State (19), Michigan State (23), Minnesota (25).

Moved in: Washington, Nebraska, Louisiana Tech.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com