College football rankings: Alabama, Oregon, Kansas State, Notre Dame

Rankman’s steadfast “Never play on Election Tuesday” rule came back to bite Toledo when the Rockets forfeited their poll position by joining Mitt Romney in the loss column. Toledo, located in swing-state Ohio, lost to Ball State. Otherwise, it was “throw the bums out” week, as several schools lost their rankings seats. It took a lot of sock-drawer sifting to find worthy replacements. We elected to recast Texas in a more favorable light after the Longhorns’ defense held somebody to fewer than 55 points. And San Diego State was extended a Blazing Saddles’ “laurel and hearty” welcome after the Aztecs stunned Boise State on the blue field.

1; Alabama 9-0; Tuscaloosa fans say they can’t wait to introduce “Johnny Football” to “Alabama Football.” (1)

2; Oregon 9-0; Barner tells Barkley after game that coming back for senior year has worked out great. (2)

3; Kansas State 9-0; Snyder relents and officially lists quarterback Klein’s status this week as “alive.” (3)

4; Notre Dame 9-0; All together in the key of F: “I’m looking over, a four-leaf clover, that I overlooked before.” (4)

5; Ohio State 10-0; BCS gatekeepers catch Buckeyes trying to sneak into standings wearing “Groucho” masks. (6)

6; Georgia 8-1; Coach says “keep the team buses running at Auburn because this shouldn’t take long.” (7)

7; Florida State 8-1; “Tallahassee Lassie” charted way higher than team’s current No. 32 in Sagarin’s BCS ratings. (8)

8; Florida 8-1; Motion Picture Assn. of America recently re-rated Gators’ offense “SEC-13” for mature audiences only. (9)

9; LSU 7-2; Team scraps two-minute offense to put extra emphasis on one-minute defense. (5)

10; Clemson 8-1; Dozens and dozens of Americans are looking forward to Saturday’s game against Maryland. (10)

11; Louisville 9-0; Just like Ohio State in that both are having undefeated seasons that aren’t being recognized. (11)

12 Oregon State 7-1; If you win at Stanford there’s an In-N-Out at 53 W. El Camino Real in Mountain View. (12)

13; South Carolina 7-2; Gamecocks have won 11 straight home games if you count Saturday’s win over Arkansas. (13)

14; Oklahoma 6-2; Might still be in the BCS hunt if team played all of its games away from Norman. (15)

15; Texas A&M; 7-2; The Junction Boys recommend a pregame Tuscaloosa visit to the Bear Bryant Museum. (16)

16; Stanford 7-2; Holding Colorado to 76 total yards is impressive, but please don’t put it on a bumper sticker. (17)

17; UCLA 7-2; Billboard thought: “The BCS standings monopoly in Los Angeles is over.” (24)

18; Nebraska 7-2; Big Ten favorites assured they would not have to face ’01 Miami again in Rose Bowl. (NR)

19; Louisiana Tech 8-1; Center calls offensive plays and also places orders when teammates want takeout Chinese. (19)

20; USC 6-3; Team dumps “defense” from verbiage in favor of more fan-friendly “opposite offense.” (14)

21; Rutgers 7-1; School from storm-torn state told to keep up the good fight as it welcomes Army to town. (21)

22; Northwestern 7-2; Dr. Rumack from “Airplane” says “just want to tell you good luck at Michigan, we’re all counting on you.” (NR)

23; Texas 7-2; Rankman agrees first play versus Iowa State must be “wishbone” to honor Darrell Royal. (NR)

24; San Diego State 7-3; Players received free bluefin tuna fish tacos after historic win at Boise State. (NR)

25; Kent State 8-1; Nick Saban’s alma mater makes a perfect bookend companion to No. 1 Alabama. (NR)

Dropped out: Boise State (18), Texas Tech (20), Mississippi State (22), West Virginia (23), Arizona (25).

Moved in: Nebraska, Northwestern, Texas, San Diego State, Kent State.