Getting John Wooden to change his ways is no slam dunk

The granddaughter has been talking lately to Sissy and Fada, her two imaginary friends.

The other day she was playing hide-and-seek, and asked her father to hide with her until Sissy found them.

I wouldn't be surprised to learn the Grocery StoreBagger is still hiding, any reason to avoid going to work.

Tough to know, though, because the former daughter took the 7-Eleven Kid to Arizona a few months back because she thought the child's father was more important than the baby's grandparents.

But as good luck would have it, the kid was back in town for the Scully & Wooden get-together, and before the event she had a chat with Wooden -- listening to the man as if her playing time depended on it.

I had a hunch all along they'd hit it off -- knowing the fantasy world Wooden lives in. I wouldn't be surprised to learn Wooden invited Sissy and Fada to join him at his condo, so long as they agree to dress properly and behave.

As you know, he's still a stickler for such things. For example, when owner Jeff Herdman called from HAX (haxla.com) to ask Wooden to attach his name to a basketball academy and upcoming camp, Wooden agreed so long as instructors emphasized fundamentals and promised no showmanship would be tolerated.

"Why didn't you tell him to just take all the fun out of the game?" I suggested.

"I think it's fun to do things the proper way," Wooden said. "Basketball is a beautiful game and should be a game of finesse. Today everyone travels, uses their hands on defense and backs into the basket. That's not the game. It's a game of movement."

I wonder if he still owns a black-and-white TV.

"It's probably time you changed," I said, because as you know, it's never too late.

Wooden smiled, and when he does that, it's like the UCLA press of old, the trap set and a lesson about to be taught.

"I like 1-0 baseball games and you like 10-9 baseball games. You like home runs," Wooden said, while raising two fingers, making some kind of clucking sound, and then running his two fingers in a slow circle like someone going into a home run trot. "Yeah, that's exciting."

Wooden's son, Jim, sitting a few feet away, shook his head. He obviously knew how this discussion was going to end.

"Instead of dunking, Alcindor and Walton would just drop the ball over the rim," Wooden said. "It was so pretty."

"I disagree."

"That pleases me," Wooden said.

Wooden then took a break, moving to a bedroom so a doctor could work on his feet, and if you were lucky enough to hear Bill Walton describe Wooden's feet in graphic, gross terms as part of the Scully & Wooden evening, you can understand why he took his fungus into the other room.

While he was gone, Jim told the story about one of his sons who had gone to a Wooden basketball camp, Grandpa Wooden calling Jim after the first night to say they had a problem with Jim's son.

"Daddy, they want me to play basketball and I don't like basketball," the kid told Jim. "I want to be a swimmer."