I’d like to start this by resolving that this will be my last cheap resolutions post. At least until I’m desperate for material to start the next year.
Otherwise, here are some 2013 new year's resolutions for the Boys in Blue:
Juan Uribe: Eat three meals a day. To eat only three meals a day.
Andre Ethier: To remember how I hit .279 against left-handers in 2007.
Luis Cruz: To remember walks really are allowed. Anyway, that’s what A.J. Ellis keeps telling me.
Tommy Lasorda: Discover one more L.A. Italian restaurant. Where I can get comped.
Josh Beckett: To mix in a smile.
Sam Fernandez: After 30 years as team lawyer, to finally write “How I Survived.”
Ronald Belisario: Wait, what, it’s already new year's? Even in Venezuela?
Hanley Ramirez: Admit I’m no longer really a shortstop.
Don Mattingly: To bunt less. Ha-ha, just kidding.
Eric Collins: Attend a home game.
Chris Capuano: Still be a Dodger.
Zack Greinke: To love the media.
Ned Colletti: Never be seen again wearing my Giants NLCS ring.
Mark Ellis: Not to have any disgusting surgeries I’d never heard of before.
Blake Hawksworth: Remind the Dodgers I’m still alive.
Stan Kasten: To stop being confused with Peter Boyle. The guy’s been dead for five years.