Text messages from press row...

Unless Isiah Thomas owns a time machine that would return him to his All-Star prime, in what possible capacity could the disgraced failed executive help the Clippers? . . .

The Clippers, of course, are interested in Jerry West -- and Jerry West, of course, is not interested in the Clippers. . . .

The Boston Celtics might be setting themselves up for a fall -- or a memorable title run. . . .

A Big Three of a different dimension might be staring back at Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen & Co. this spring: consecutive playoff series against the Orlando Magic, Cleveland Cavaliers and Lakers, with all three owning home-court advantage against the defending champions. . . .

Get through that and they would more than deserve the title. . . .

Gerald Henderson, father of the Duke guard of the same name, won NBA championships with the Celtics in 1981 and ‘84, making a key steal and tying layup late in the fourth quarter of a critical overtime victory over the Lakers in Game 2 in 1984. . . .

That was the game in which Magic Johnson inexplicably dribbled out the clock at the end of regulation. . . .

Speaking of Johnson, he and Jerry Lucas and Quinn Buckner not only won NCAA, NBA and Olympic basketball championships, notes reader Ken Kurek of West Hollywood, but also state high school titles, earning sort of a hoops superfecta. . . .

Even if former welterweight champion Antonio Margarito never wins another title, he’ll always have (plaster of) Paris. . . .

In boxing, apparently, not all is on the up and up. . . .

An NBA talent evaluator said Thursday that if UCLA’s Jrue Holiday and USC’s DeMar DeRozan, Daniel Hackett and Taj Gibson make themselves available for the NBA draft, all four probably would be among the top 35 picks, with Holiday possibly joining DeRozan among the top 15. . . .

Darren Collison, projected as a lottery pick two years ago, may have dropped out of the first round, the evaluator said. . . .

The Olympics are so big, even the Oscars blinked. . . .

Darren Dreifort may have been a highly compensated, injury-riddled bust with the Dodgers, but the former Wichita State right-hander and No. 2 pick in the 1993 draft was voted into the College Baseball Hall of Fame this week. . . .

Unless his elbow loosens and contract talks take a turn in his favor, the Angels’ John Lackey seems destined to start this season the way he ended last season: in a sour mood. . . .

USC’s Mitch Mustain is a college football rarity: a transfer with an 8-0 record as a starting quarterback. . . .

The five players whose numbers were retired by the Kings -- Wayne Gretzky, Marcel Dionne, Luc Robitaille, Dave Taylor and Rogie Vachon -- are expected to share the ice for the first time April 4 when the team honors Lou McClary, an NHL security representative who is retiring after 42 years with the club. . . .

Regarding a suggestion that the Kings are “cooked” this season, reader Rosa Kasper of Torrance e-mails to add, “And should they fail to make the playoffs next season, GM [Dean] Lombardi and Coach [Terry] Murray deserve to be ‘toast.’ ” . . .

Was it only a coincidence that, after signing Terrell Owens, the Buffalo Bills were scheduled to play the New England Patriots in the NFL’s opening Monday night game next fall? . . .

Of course not. . . .

Homer Simpson: “America is the New York Yankees of countries: Powerful and respected until the year 2000.” . . .

That’s the last year Derek Jeter & Co. won the World Series. . . .

Tiger Woods, aiming to win the Arnold Palmer Invitational for the sixth time after opening with a 68 on Thursday, already has won three other events six times. . . .

A panel of Olympians, among them John Naber, Dwight Stones and Peter Vidmar, will discuss the relationship between sports and spirituality during a free program Wednesday at 7 p.m. at the USC Catholic Center, 3207 University Ave. . . .

Former Dodgers shortstop Maury Wills and Pro Football Hall of Famers Deacon Jones, Dick Butkus and Jackie Slater are among the celebrities scheduled to participate in the second annual “Evening With the Stars” benefit fundraiser April 23 at Trump National Golf Course in Rancho Palos Verdes. . . .

Information: (310) 897-5043. . . .

Possible new reality show: “Housekeeping for Kobe.”

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jerome.crowe@latimes.com