While we're at it, let's send the college and pro refs to that Island of Shame as well. No sense blaming the players or coaches for any shortcomings. It's almost always the ref's fault, right?
I'm not saying we be stupid about it. Call in Clinton or Kissinger. Set up some sort of tribunal, see justice play out.
"What's the charge here?" the judge will ask.
"Your Honor, it is alleged that the defendant blew a call on a corner kick," the court clerk will explain.
"I have no patience with that," the judge will bellow. "Life in prison!"
"But I have four kids!" the ref/defendant will shout, then pause a moment to get ahold of herself. "Yeah, just take me away, OK?"
Still, AYSO is worth it. Why? Hard to explain.
Guess it has something to do with the laughter coming from the back seat during carpool, or the way the players goof around before a big playoff game, the loosest team you've ever seen.
Listen, pro sports are fantastic. College sports are better, and if you follow that trend line, that makes youth sports the very best, because there is still nothing better or purer than watching your own child do well under fire, or team up with buddies to take a trophy, or make a run for the cup, a lifelong memory that is as transcendent as it is fleeting.
The gall of some of these kids. This season, we had one opposing player correct a ref on an out-of-bounds call: "Actually, sir, it was off me," the kid confessed.
Take a breath, America. And hold it till you see a pro player do that.
Take a breath, America. Then savor those funky shoes.