It’s a Bear of an outcome for ‘Dump Dorrell’ gang

IT’S SO depressing. So satisfying. They lose to the absolute worst teams out there, they beat the No. 10-ranked team in the land. They play terrible. They play great.

UCLA infuriating football, of course, as orchestrated by Karl Dorrell.

It’s a win over California, the worst thing possible for those “dumpdorrell.com” proponents -- at least for another week -- but the best finish imaginable for UCLA fans. Sometimes the very same people on both accounts.

12:43 p.m.: UCLA fan Mike Zuk e-mails shortly after kickoff: “While the game may be closer than ‘on paper,’ Clueless Dullard will lead them to defeat -- he’s gotta go! Their D may keep ‘em around for awhile, but he’ll ensure they don’t have any plan to win the game.” 3:55 p.m.: UCLA goes ahead, 23-21, but Cal returns the kickoff 59 yards to set up a potential game-winning field goal, and Zuk e-mails: “Sad to say, but poorly coached, not-so-special teams and Same Ol’ Bruins.” Zuk.

4:48 p.m.: UCLA cornerback Alterraun Verner intercepts a pass a few minutes later, returns it for a touchdown, the Bruins win and Zuk e-mails: “Whoops.”

One moment around here it’s nothing but outrage, fans booing Dorrell’s team for not going for it on fourth and one from the Cal 38 and trailing by one. The next, they are on their feet, cheering wildly for their heroes, hanging over the tunnel wall and wishing Dorrell well.

IT’S THE first game off the Notre Dame debacle, and Tom Dienart from sportingnews.com reports a few days ago: “A source told me that UCLA AD Dan Guerrero met with Bruin defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker last week during the team’s off week to discuss the possibility of Walker taking over as interim coach this season if Dorrell is let go early.”

UCLA insists there is no truth to the report, so Dienart takes it off the website, which indicates sportingnews.com’s operation is about as shaky as the Bruins’ offense at times.

UCLA confirms Guerrero and Walker had a breakfast meeting, though, but only to discuss Walker’s career development.

Just a minute to go in Saturday’s game, and it appears Walker’s career is developing quite nicely if he wants to be a head coach. And soon.

Cal is in position to essentially end the Bruins’ season, the Dump Dorrell crowd swelling, the pressure about to mount on Guerrero.

One minute to go and Guerrero is standing on the goal line, arms folded, judge and jury, watching Dorrell’s team. The Rose Bowl is alive with noise and excitement, as good as it gets -- as horrible as it might be if all goes askew in the next few seconds.

But then Verner intercepts, and Guerrero starts jumping up and down. He throws his right arm into the air and leaves it hanging there while Verner continues his run to the end zone. He hugs three UCLA administrators and a woman standing nearby, who appears to be his wife.

“Not my wife,” he says later, and for a change someone other than Dorrell has some explaining to do.

IT’S WHAT makes UCLA football so compelling these days, this up-and-down ride with Dorrell -- and with so many convinced he’s the wrong guy for the job.

A win here changing nothing. A loss here almost always expected. Will it ever be any different with Dorrell in command? Will the day ever come when the UCLA faithful embrace him?

But then how do you make the case for dismissal when he beats USC and keeps the Trojans from playing for a national title? When his team wins 10 games in a season? When UCLA goes 4-0 in Pacific 10 Conference play and still has a chance of playing in the Rose Bowl?

UCLA infuriating football, all right, making games at Washington State and Arizona the next two weeks as big of obstacles as games later against Arizona State, Oregon and USC.

NOW I probably should have been concerned when trainer John Bassett told our horse, “slow and steady wins the race,” just before it began its 400-yard dash.

Kiddy Up, owned in part by Page 2 and a much bigger part by Los Alamitos Race Course owner Ed Allred, ran well enough a few months back to win $50,000. Allred took that $50,000 and immediately donated it to Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA.

That presented a problem, though, when it came to Friday night’s qualifying for the Golden State Million at Los Alamitos.

Obviously Kiddy Up felt his work was done, the kids on the cancer ward no longer going to benefit, so why rush it to the finish line -- instead running slow and steady to finish second and failing to qualify for the $1-million race in two weeks.

IT WAS supposed to be just a friendly game of golf -- just a $2 Nassau -- until the other guy started piling up pars, beginning on the first hole, and continuing to the second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth.

It was exasperating, the guy just doing everything right without a hint of emotion, satisfaction or surprise -- like this was just what an 83-year-old sportswriter was supposed to do when six bucks were on the line.

It wouldn’t be until later, while handing Shav Glick the money, that he’d grin and mention he used to play golf with his old Pasadena Junior College classmate, Jackie Robinson, beating him every time.

I can’t remember for sure if Glick shot his age that day, recalling now only the chit-chat about a newspaper business, a golf swing and a Dodgers team in disarray, while also hearing about Ted Williams as a young player.

But hearing the news Saturday that Glick had passed at age 87, my first thought was how richer I was to know him -- even though I’d have gone broke and loved every minute of it trying to beat him.

--

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.