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The Times’ college football top 25 rankings

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Texas A&M is the first team in Rankman history to jump from No. 21 to No. 8 after wins over Rice and Sam Houston State. Ohio State slips two spots for insisting it must be referred to as “The” Ohio State. Miami used a win over Florida to jump 10 spots to No. 14 as it tries to stay one step ahead of the grim NCAA reaper. Texas just had to go after allowing 259 rushing yards to a Brigham Young quarterback coming off surgery whose nickname is “Limpy.” Oklahoma State remains in the poll despite reports it passed around a money hat bigger than its mascot’s hat. Welcome in and congratulate Baylor at No. 24. The Bears had 15 more points last week than USC had passing yards.

1; Stanford 1-0; Coach Shaw goes audio-visual and uses West (Power) Point to get team ready for Army trip. (1)

2; Alabama 1-0; Coach Mack Brown assured “Saban to Texas” is only Tide’s travel itinerary this week. (2)

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3; Oregon 2-0; Tennessee fans kindly asked to follow orange parking cones into Autzen Stadium. (4)

4; Clemson 2-0; Tigers will use off weekend to contemplate imminent collapse under weight of expectations. (5)

5; Ohio State 2-0; Two Buckeyes injured in “fake injury” drill while preparing for up-tempo Cal offense. (3)

6; Louisville 2-0; Schedule is so soft Charmin wants to develop it into a new four-ply tissue. (7)

7; Georgia 1-1; Coach Spurrier told Coach Richt years ago not to take the Georgia job and to sell his Google stock. (8)

8; Texas A&M 2-0; CBS’s “Johnny Cam” vs. Alabama hopes to capture Manziel’s signature moments. (14)

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9; Michigan 2-0; Coach Hoke 16-0 at Michigan Stadium but still looking for first perfect game in bowling. (12)

10; LSU 2-0; Coach Miles says he ran a clean ship at Oklahoma State and blames any problems on pirates. (13)

11; Northwestern 2-0; Rhyme-man thinks he has clue how ‘Cats will do against Kalamazoo (Western Michigan). (10)

12; Florida State 1-0; First school that ever contemplated opening with Pittsburgh, Nevada and Bethune Cookman. (15)

13 South Carolina 1-1; Clowney is three more ordinary games from becoming a first-round pick of the LA KISS. (6)

14; Miami 2-0; Hurricanes put down SI story and say, “You should have spent 10 months investigating us.” (24)

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15; Florida 1-1; Landscapers arrive in off week to water, re-sod and fertilize the entire offense. (9)

16; Oklahoma State 2-0; Big story tip came when SI learned stadium was named after billionaire booster. (16)

17; Arizona State 1-0; “Chopsticks Magazine” names “Fear the Fork” as best college slogan. (17)

18; UCLA (1-0); Tough game at Nebraska ends emotionally tough week for Bruins Nation. (18)

19; Washington 1-0; Gen. “Swamp Fox” Sarkisian thinks troops are ready for Illinois at Soldier Field. (19)

20; Nebraska 2-0; Holding Southern Miss under 40 gives defense hope it can hold UCLA under 80. (21)

21; Wisconsin 2-0; Last point allowed came with 4:23 left in fourth quarter of the Rose Bowl. (22)

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22; Oklahoma 2-0; Former coach Switzer disputes SI’s claim Oklahoma State was ever a “big-time” program. (23)

23; Notre Dame 1-1; Story line on defense: was phantom girlfriend; now phantom tackling. (20)

24; Baylor 2-0; Bears have scored 70, 69 in two games, so pencil in 68 against La.-Monroe. (NR)

25; Fresno State 2-0; Rankman reminds Colorado it was behind, 35-0, after one quarter last year. (25)

Dropped out: Texas (11).

Moved in: Baylor.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com

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