A lot to spare, most in the gutter this bowling season

Perfect timing: One of the two new bowl games being crammed into an already overstuffed holiday stocking this year is sponsored by a bank.

Bailout Bowl:

Payout: See Hank Paulson, U.S. Treasury Dept.

Not quite, although the newly minted EagleBank is being played in Washington.

The participating teams are Navy and Wake Forest.

Navy leads the nation in rushing, averaging nearly 300 yards a game, which could inspire some “run on bank” headlines.

There are 34 bowl games -- only 16 more and we’ll have one for every state -- and not all of them will be goose bump-inducing.

These are strange times: three schools from Michigan earned bids this year but not one of them is the University of Michigan.

Not every school is happy about its bowl placement either.

Texas Tech finished 11-1 and is headed for the non-BCS Cotton, while 9-4 Virginia Tech won an automatic bid to the Orange Bowl.

This is USC’s fifth Rose parade (yawn) in the last six years and some Trojans were frankly hoping 11-1 would earn them a trip to this year’s Bowl Championship Series game in South Florida.

USC Coach Pete Carroll will be profiled tonight on “60 Minutes.”

CBS might have considered enlisting Mike Wallace to ask the hard question: “Coach, if your team had played 60 minutes against Oregon State, wouldn’t you be in this year’s national title game?”

Our annual worst-to-best guide.

34: Motor City (Dec. 26): Central Michigan (8-4) vs. Florida Atlantic (6-6)

What every kid growing up in Florida dreams about: Christmas in Detroit.

Winner: Central Michigan

33: magicJack (Dec. 20): South Florida (7-5) vs. Memphis (6-6)

Title sponsor not a pill to keep cross-country truckers awake at night, although this game could use a pick-me-upper.

Winner: South Florida.

32: New Mexico (Dec. 20): Colorado State (6-6) vs. Fresno State (7-5)

Fresno State hoped a season-opening win at Rutgers would propel team on a BCS run, but, at last check, they didn’t move the Fiesta Bowl to Albuquerque.

Winner: Fresno State.

31: International (Jan. 3): Connecticut (7-5) vs. Buffalo (8-5)

Canada-based bowl will be broadcast in 3-D, played on a wider field, with 20-yard end zones, and each team will get three downs instead of four. Not really, but wouldn’t that make it more interesting?

Winner: Buffalo.

30: Independence (Dec. 28): Louisiana Tech (7-5) vs. Northern Illinois (6-6)

Time-killer note on play-by-play guy’s index card: “Northern Illinois is located in DeKalb, which is the barbed wire capital of the world.”

Winner: Louisiana Tech.

29: New Orleans (Dec. 21): Troy (8-4) vs. Southern Mississippi (6-6)

Farm team from Alabama (Troy) arrives early to do a Sugar Bowl sound check for the Crimson Tide.

Winner: Troy

28: Humanitarian (Dec. 30): Maryland (7-5) vs. Nevada (7-5)

Nevada subs in for WAC champion Boise State, which took its 12-0 record to San Diego.

Winner: Nevada

27: EagleBank (Dec. 20): Navy (8-4) vs. Wake Forest (7-5)

Navy already beat Wake Forest once this year, 24-17, but tune in if only to hear ESPN announcer Terry Gannon’s game-long name battle with Navy quarterback Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada.

Winner: Navy (again).

26: Papajohns.com (Dec. 29): Rutgers (7-5) vs. North Carolina State (6-6)

Rutgers started the season 1-5, so the Scarlet Knights are happy to be in any bowl game. Yes, even one in Birmingham.

Winner: Rutgers

25: Liberty (Jan. 2): East Carolina (9-4) vs. Kentucky (6-6)

Conference USA champions take on second-fiddle Bluegrass outfit from Conference SEC.

Winner: East Carolina

24: Music City (Dec. 31): Boston College (9-4) vs. Vanderbilt (6-6)

Vandy’s first bowl game in 26 years earns the Commodores an all-expenses trip to . . . Nashville?

Winner: Boston College.

23: Meineke Car Care (Dec. 27): North Carolina (8-4) vs. West Virginia (8-4)

Last chance to see quarterback Pat White before he goes off to do whatever ex-Mountaineers quarterbacks do.

Winner: North Carolina

22: Insight (Dec. 31): Minnesota (7-5) vs. Kansas (7-5)

Minnesota returns to the bowl where, in 2006, the Gophers blew a 31-point lead in an overtime loss to Texas Tech, the biggest comeback in bowl history.

Winner: Kansas

21: Chick-fil-A (Dec. 31): Louisiana State (7-5) vs. Georgia Tech (9-3)

Game moved off of original Sunday play date because Chick-fil-A is closed on that day.

Winner: Georgia Tech

20: Outback (Jan. 1): Iowa (8-4) vs. South Carolina (7-5)

Iowa’s last-second win over Penn State on Nov. 8 put both programs into Jan. 1 bowl games.

Winner: South Carolina.

19: Texas (Dec. 30): Rice (9-3) vs. Western Michigan (9-3)

Rice seeks its first bowl win since 1954, while Western Michigan has fans from Timbuktu to Kalamazoo.

Winner: Rice

18: Capital One (Jan. 1): Michigan State (9-3) vs. Georgia (9-3)

Dear Ann Arbor: Wish you were here. The weather’s great! Will write more after tonight’s bowl party.

Winner: Georgia.

17: Armed Forces (Dec. 31): Air Force (8-4) vs. Houston (7-5)

Houston leads the nation in total offense while Air Force leads in total fixed-wing aircraft.

Winner: Houston.

16: Champs Sports (Dec. 27): Wisconsin (7-5) vs. Florida State (8-4)

Badgers were ranked as high as No. 9 this season and Florida State was really good 10 years ago.

Winner: Florida State.

15: Gator (Jan. 1): Clemson (7-5) vs. Nebraska (8-4)

Best coaching name matchup pits Dabo Swinney (Clemson) vs. Bo Pelini (Nebraska).

Winner: Clemson.

14: Orange (Jan. 1): Virginia Tech (9-4) vs. Cincinnati (11-2)

We’ll continue to get BCS games like this until the Atlantic Coast Conference improves or Congress passes a law.

Winner: Cincinnati.

13: GMAC (Jan. 6): Tulsa (10-3) vs. Ball State (12-1)

No one would notice much drop-off if the quarterbacks in this game, David Johnson and Nate Davis, had to take over for Oklahoma and Florida on Jan. 8.

Winner: Tulsa.

12: Sun (Dec. 31): Oregon State (8-4) vs. Pittsburgh (9-3)

Oregon State expected to get tailback Jacquizz Rodgers back, but Tony Dorsett is definitely out for Pitt.

Winner: Oregon State.

11: Alamo (Dec. 29): Missouri (9-4) vs. Northwestern (9-3)

Taco Digest suggests this game be paired with chicken enchiladas and a salty margarita.

Winner: Missouri.

10: Cotton (Jan. 2): Texas Tech (11-1) vs. Mississippi (8-4)

School that lost to Oklahoma plays team that beat Florida in stadium where Texas beat Oklahoma.

Winner: Texas Tech.

9: Emerald (Dec. 27): California (8-4) vs. Miami (7-5)

Bay Area marketing team torn between slogans “Free Speech vs. South Beach” and “B.A.R.T. vs. B.O.C.A (Raton).”

Winner: Cal.

8: Las Vegas (Dec. 20): Brigham Young (10-2) vs. Arizona (7-5)

Mike Stoops hasn’t settled on game plan yet but promises he will never “hit” on 17.

Winner: BYU.

7: Hawaii (Dec. 24): Notre Dame (6-6) vs. Hawaii (7-6)

It’s Charlie Weis in a Hawaiian shirt followed by Midnight Mass at Our Lady of Diamond Head.

Winner: Hawaii.

6: Holiday (Dec. 30): Oklahoma State (9-3) vs. Oregon (9-3)

If you’re looking to see good defense, take the battleship tour of the USS Midway.

Winner: Oregon.

5: Fiesta (Jan. 5): Texas (11-1) vs. Ohio State (10-2)

Longhorns readying T-shirts proclaiming school “Big 12 South National Champions.”

Winner: Ohio State.

4: Sugar (Jan. 2): Utah (12-0) vs. Alabama (12-1)

Utah’s first practice in preparation for Crimson Tide offensive line will involve standing on stools.

Winner: Alabama.

3: Poinsettia (Dec. 23): Boise State (12-0) vs. Texas Christian (10-2)

BCS-caliber game diminished by fact it’s being staged in stadium where San Diego State and Chargers play.

Winner: Boise State.

2. Rose (Jan. 1): USC (11-1) vs. Penn State (11-1)

CBS wanted to profile Penn State coach but Joe Paterno, at his age, said he was only good for “20 Minutes.”

Winner: USC.

1. BCS (Jan. 8): Oklahoma (12-1) vs. Florida (12-1)

Gators hand Bob Stoops his fifth straight BCS bowl loss while Texas fans fume: “We should have been the team that lost to Florida!”

Winner: Florida

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chris.dufresne@latimes.com