"Hooray for Holly."
Come on, everybody, "Hooray for Hollywood, that screwy bally-hooey Hollywood, where any office boy or young mechanic, can be a panic."
No, wait, stop, please. That was awful.
We try that every year and it never gets any better. But you know what? It doesn't matter. Because whenever you hear that tune, you know what time it is, don't you?
Yes, Sparky, it's time for the Annual "Peter B-Holy-Cannoli-How-Does-He-Know-That-Oscar Picks."
Are you excited? I knew you would be. Ready? We begin.
The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are:
If they left these things up to me, I would hand Helena Bonham Carter any award she's up for, no questions asked, but it is not to be. Until a few weeks ago, Melissa Leo was the prohibitive favorite as the boxing manager-slash-mother from hell in
But a funny thing happened on the way to
If there is a dark horse in this race, it's Steinfeld, the lovable, unstoppable and exceedingly cute tween who reprises Kim Darby's character, Mattie Ross, from the original
The nominees for Best Supporting Actor are:
The nominees for Best Actor are:
A few critics are calling Bridges a dark horse, which would be fine with me, but the chances of winning two Oscars back to back are slim and none and slim has left the building. Bardem is outstanding in
And the winner is Colin Firth in "The King's Speech." Rule Brittania, dude.
The nominees for Best Actress are:
This was a two-woman race for quite a while between Bening and Portman. But in recent weeks, Portman has surged, with her portrayal of a ballet dancer who is flirting with the thin line between artistic genius and madness. And the winner is, Natalie Portman.
The nominees for Best Director are:
This is another lead-pipe cinch, fait accompli, it's over. I've told you how to show off your psychic powers in this category, right?
Just check the Director's Guild Award results, which are always a few weeks before the Oscars. Why? Because only directors vote for the Best Director Oscar, and on Jan. 29, the DGA handed the big prize to Tom Hooper, which means the winner is: Tom Hooper for "The King's Speech."
See? Being clairvoyant is easy.
The nominees for Best Picture are: "Black Swan;" "The Fighter;" "The King's Speech;" "The Social Network;"; "Inception;"
It's important. There are some big dogs bumping their way around the track here, with "The Social Network" and "The King's Speech" in the lead. Some critics are picking
I would love to see it be "True Grit," but it has no chance. And the winner is, "The King's Speech."
There you have it. I have no more to tell you. I am spent. Don't ever change, let's do lunch, have your people call my people, you're the best. Seriously. It's all good. I gotta go.