Former President Bill Clinton will be taking the stage later this evening. Don't worry Democrats. He will feel your pain.
The first game of the NFL season is tonight, a highly anticipated matchup between the (presumably liberal) New York Giants and the (presumably conservative) Dallas Cowboys. But it overlaps coverage of the Democratic National Convention.
And while we all love hearing a good partisan political speech that in no way sounds like the other 735 speeches we've heard over the past two weeks, some of us might be tempted to briefly step away and peek at what Mitt Romney would call "sport."
I urge everyone to resist the siren song of heavily padded men colliding with each other for our entertainment. Because if your eyes drift even for a moment from the convention coverage, you could miss: a video on women's health; a large number of people chanting "USA! USA!" for no apparent reason; House Democratic Whip Steny Hoyer saying stuff into a microphone; or Austin Ligon, co-founder and former CEO of CarMax Inc., who might very well offer you an unbeatable deal on a Nissan Sentra.
And I didn't even mention Bill Clinton. What kind of rowdy friends would we be if we chose an electrifying and passionately fought football game over a chance to hear the "Big Dog" emote.
So tune in, America. Pay attention to the all-important political process.
I'll suck it up and watch the game for you, then tell you what happened.
Oh, yeah,, he's VERY pro-women 10:02 AM CDT
It's Day 2 of the Democratic National Convention, and liberals everywhere are fired up for tonight's headline speech by former President, and professional your-pain-feeler, Bill Clinton.
In keeping with the convention's emphatically pro-women theme, organizers presumably picked Clinton based on his long history of being extremely pro-women. (Rimshot!)
The former president is expected to deliver a ringing endorsement of Barack Obama, all the while trying to discreetly hide his "Hillary 2016" neck tattoo.
Speaking of women, yesterday's "Women of the U.S. House of Representatives" will be followed up with a "Women of the U.S. Senate." Thursday's schedule remains up in the air as it seems likely the Democratic National Committee is going to run out of women it can put on stage.
Today's festivities also include a performance by famed saxophonist Branford Marsalis, who I assume will redistribute his music evenly among all the delegates.
And there will be a small business-related video based on Obama's economic policies called "An Economy Built to Last." Or as conservatives would call it, "satire."
Michelle's arms 11:05 PM CDT
First Lady Michelle Obama delivered a powerful, rousing speech at the Democratic National Convention, one that will surely be remembered for her passionate recitation of love for her husband. (You know, the guy who's president.)
But first, let's take a moment to discuss what initially lit up the social media world when the First Lady took the stage: her arms. Her arms are the Democratic equivalent of Paul Ryan's much-talked-about abs.
It's likely that most voters, at this juncture, would prefer that the election be a choice between Michelle Obama's awesomely sculpted arms and Ryan's P90X-hardened abs.