Third-and-10, Chandler throws to Booker over the middle but Corey Harris is there early. No flag from the side judge but here comes one from way deep. Correct call. End of the third.
Chandler hits Pritchett for a first down at the Lions 32. Thomas gains a yard. Clark makes a catch on third down and the Bears are a yard shy of the first at the 23. Big third-down play here. Bears call timeout. They give it to Thomas straight ahead and he's short. Edinger misses the field goal from 41 yards. Wide left. Wow, his second miss of the day. Huge. That third-down play was the key.
OK, major technical difficulties with my laptop and the cappuccino machine in the food room during that last Bears drive. I apologize. All you need to know is Paul Edinger's 41-yard field goal was wide left, much to the delight of the guy in the fuzzy lion suit. He went nuts. My colleague Chris King subbed on that last paragraph. I thank him.
The Lions got the ball back, drove a little bit, getting their fans into it before yanking the field-turf carpet out from under them with a punt. A 29-yard punt. That punt was worse than this coffee. That's just like the Lions. As Winston Churchill once said, "If this is coffee, bring me tea. If this is tea, bring me coffee."
The Bears get the ball deep, deep in their own territory and can't do diddly. Chandler is sacked for an 11-yard loss to bring up third-and-19. A draw play and then a punt. Have we set the record for punts yet? Block in the back on the punt and the Lions will start at the 28.
I just figured out why all these classic rock tunes they keep blaring sound a little strange. David Lee Roth sounds really off. It's because they're being played by a live band in the corner of the end zone. "There's a fire in the hole! Hey, hey, hey!"
So the Lions get the ball and do even worse than the Bears. Like the Bears they punt. It's nearly blocked by Justin Gage. Is that even how that song goes? This coffee just gets worse over time. Kind of like this game.
Couple of firsts and the Bears may be able to ice this. Three and a half minutes on the clock and Thomas runs for nada. Chandler then hits Clark for 7. Another third down. This one's big, folks. Chandler's pass isn't close to Clark and so much for my little plan.
Harrington throws a nice ball to Az-Hakim for 18 yards. Harrington then hits Bryson for 8 more down to the 39. Two-minute warning. Seriously they should've warned people entering the stadium today. "Warning: Two bad football teams inside." Fitzsimmons catches soemthign that looks oddly like the Bears wide-receiver screen. He stretches for the first. The Bears will lose on a field goal. I can see it driving up whatever street this stadium is on. "Timeout Deee-troit." Take five, guys. The end zone band's play list apparently doesn't contain any Kid Rock. Or maybe they don't want to desicrate the work of Detroit's favorite son. Actually I'm not sure where he ranks next to Eminem. They went from Mo-town to those two guys? Harrington hits Schlesinger to bring up a third-and-3 at the 30. From the shotgun, Harrington over-throws Az-Hakim. How does this guy's name work, anyway. Hanson on for a 48-yarder. They sure love their field goals here in Detroit because they went nuts after that one. It gives the Lions the lead.
Lions 12, Bears 10
Here we go, 39 seconds on the clock, the Lions keep it on the ground and Joe Tafoya rumbles 12 yards with the ball to the 42. Wonder when the last time he ran with the ball was. "Timeout, Dee-troit." I'll bet you money this ref pronounces cement "cee-ment." Chandler's pass is behind Gage and it's picked off by Harris. Wow, talk about not letting it get exciting at all. The first play. Refs want to take a look at this one. Maybe the ball hit the ground. Maybe not. Either way, this crowd is out of here. Play stands and the 10 people still here stand and applaud.
That's it. Knee city. The Bears have lost 12 straight road games. The Lions have won two straight. Spare the taxicabs, citizens of Detroit.
Thanks for reading, everyone. More "fun" next week back in Chicago.
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