Petula Clark

Captain Erskine turns to a trusty parrot

The little boy with the Creamsicle hair is beginning the first grade. He'll be in Room 15, the note from the teacher advises a few days in advance. "Please get a good night's sleep the night before school starts and eat a healthy breakfast," the letter reads. "I always eat a healthy breakfast," I remind my wife. "I don't think she was talking to you," Posh says. "Sometimes I eat two healthy breakfasts," I say. "You're not listening," she says. More and more, my lovely wife uses the same tone with me as with the kids. I deserve more respect than that, but I realize such things must be earned. She's still upset...