So she built a bonfire on your lawn with all your love letters. So his old friend turned out to be a young friend and not just a friend at all. Suck it up, take a shower and hit these top anti-Valentine's Day outings.
Lot 48 Singles Party
Drowning your sorrows is always good. Which is why the three-hour hosted bar at this party is very good. It includes call and well drinks, domestic bottles, sangria and red wine, which should be enough for you to forget your dreaded ex's name--and perhaps your own as well. DJ Dennis James spins tunes, and they're giving away prizes like gift certificates to SoPo and Matisse.
Let's say you actually want to meet someone else. Well then spit-shine those spurs, throw on some cowboy or cowgirl duds--which will get you $2 off your cover charge--and mosey on down to Fizz for the House Theatre benefit. There are lots of ways to meet other cowfolks at this Wild West party, including paying off a House Theatre actor to sing a sappy song to the hottie by the bar, as well as interactive games. But one of the coolest icebreakers is buying a rope to "Lasso Your Love." Corny, yes, but maybe it'll satisfy those mild S&M cravings of yours. With the $20 cover, you'll get all the beer and wine you want, plus $3 for all other drinks.
Somewhere up on a cloud, the Fates are clutching their guts in laughter because the day before Valentine's Day just happens to be Friday the 13th. Nice one, guys. In honor of the coincidence, the Old Town School of Folk Music's usual Friday night "6-String Social" focuses on love and luck (or lack thereof). It's open to players of any instrument and any level. Heck, you don't even need an instrument--you're welcome to just hang out and sing. Songs on the roster include "Some Guys Have All the Luck," "Born Under a Bad Sign" and for good mojo, "Lucky Star," "Happy Go Lucky Me" and lots more.
What better than a classic '80s movie at the Block Cinema to revive the hope that your next boyfriend might actually have the cajones to blast Peter Gabriel on your lawn? Or that the next girl you meet will be an uber-smart chick who has the cash to make you a kept man? Ione Skye and hometown boy John Cusack star in Cameron Crowe's opus of teen love and angst. Plus there's Lili Taylor as the best friend who's obviously perfect for the hero. (Don't pretend you've never played that fiddle before.) Turn your back on reality--fantasy is where it's at.
Matilda's 'Screw Cupid' Masquerade
You've been wondering what do with all those pictures of your ex, and drawing in a curly mustache and devil horns just isn't cutting it anymore. Bring in the most compromising or ridiculous picture of the dreaded ex for the chance to win $100 cash (contest at midnight). And for an added bonus, the pic will be displayed at Matilda until next year's party. It's a masquerade, so be sure and wear a mask (there'll be some for sale at the door if you don't have one) to get your first drink free.
Cupid Is As Cupid Does
If you have to laugh to keep from cryin', then so be it. The aptly named Cupid Players perform this original musical sketch comedy, which director Brian Posen promises is "smart and satirical." Think "Saturday Night Live" and add singing. The show revolves around relationships and all the crap that comes with them, so obviously, you can relate. And with songs like "She Likes You, But She Doesn't Like You, Like You," well, we all can relate.
Anti-VD Party and Concert
That's right. A party that's against Valentine's Day and VD. And that's only the beginning of this saucy party. Improv troupe pH Productions hosts this bash, complete with a spanking booth; a "Cuss at Cupid" area where you can take your frustrations out on the little guy; a "pHetish pHoto Booth" (use your imagination); and a raffle of some pretty nifty prizes--a tour of Playboy's office and tickets to a Bulls game. There's a hosted bar from 8:30-11:30 p.m., and Jamie Holesha, Violently Ill and the Heeby Jeebies rock the night away.
Amanda E. Snyder is a metromix special contributor.