Scarlett's Other "Naked" Moment
Last week, actress Scarlett Johansson was angered after her cell phone was hacked and two privately-taken naked pictures of the actress were blasted throughout the viral world. But I've "over-Snerd" a more embarrassing and career-threatening piece of digital material than just some nudie shots was on Scar-Jo's phone. According to friends who've seen it, Scarlett secretly recorded herself doing several scenes from Shakespeare, in the hopes of sending it to producers and "classing up" her sex-pot movie image. Apparently, in the home-made video, Scarlett mangles much of The Bard's best-known words, including the famous "Hamlet" line, which she butchers by reciting, "Toby, or not Toby, who is he?" A source close to her management team said, "Thank God only the naked pictures got out. She's got a great butt, so who cares? Those pictures will only help her career, but if that Shakespeare video ever was seen, her career would be as dead as Juliet at the end of that play." Talk about a "Scarlett letter"
Charlie's Momma Told Him Not To Come
The 63rd Emmy Awards ceremony was both predictable and pathetic. Didya EVER see an awards show in which EVERY skit, EVERY presenter, and EVERY performer totally bombed? Well, this show was it. Someone needed to tell the show's producer, reality TV impresario Mark Burnett, it's not enough just to have major stars appear they have to DO or SAY something! Case in point
out comes Hollywood toxin, Charlie Sheen, and instead of Sheen making headlines with his appearance, he meekly wished his former "Two And A Half Men" stars good luck. Talk about a disappointing moment! But maybe it wasn't what producers planned. I've "over-Snerd" Charlie was ready to rant on national television and settle all his Hollywood scores at once
but before his appearance, he was "instructed" my his mom who is now living with him -- to shape up or ship out. The Sheen family matriarch shook her finger at "The Warlock" and sternly told him, "You be nice out there! Apologize to your former cast mates and wish them luck. You've already made a national fool out of yourself and ruined your career do something smart for a change!" And with that she grabbed his ear and led him to toward the stage as his name was announced. Now we KNOW who the "half man" is these days
Super Bowl "Shuffle Bored"
The current Chicago Bear players were sequestered in their New Orleans hotel rooms this weekend to prepare for their game against the Saints (they needed to "prepare for THAT debacle?), but a group of former Bears from the 1986 Super Bowl-winning team, including Jim McMahon, Emery Moorehead, Dan Hampton, and Tom Thayer all got together in "The Big Easy" hoping to relive the "partying havoc" they wreaked on that same city 25 years ago. Back then, the Bears' exploits off the field in New Orleans were almost as newsworthy as the heroics that led to their Super Bowl victory. Though these former party animals got off to a seemingly good start, hitting several Bourbon Street watering holes around 9:30 pm, my spies tell me by 11 p.m., McMahon was dozing off alone in a bar booth, Moorehead left the group to call his kids, Hampton was back in his hotel room eating room service, and Thayer was seen in the hotel's game room playing video games with a group of teenagers. Looks like these former bar-hopping Bears have lost their bite. What did Mick Jagger say about "what a drag it is getting old"?
Fact Or (Science) Fiction?
With the announcement this week that a new planet that orbits two suns recently was discovered, sci-fi geeks from across the world were as giddy as school girls. The planet, named Kepler 16-b, and located about 200 light years from Earth, seems similar to the two-sunned planet in the film classic, "Sat Wars," the home planet of lead character Luke Skywalker. Not only does the new planet orbit two suns, but I've "over-Snerd" a deep space secret those who have seen the surface of this new planet have identified an odd formation on the dust-covered planet. It seems my NASA source swears they can see the words "Vader was here" scrawled on the ground near a crater. This makes Snerd wonder, was the whole "Star Wars" epic film series an imaginative fable from the mind of creator, George Lucas, or, did he have access to some top secret government files for his "inspiration"? Snerd loves a good space conspiracy
and how cool would it be if there really WAS a Yoda!
Pitt's Dull Past
Brad Pitt shocked Hollywood last week, revealing when he was married to Jennifer Aniston, his life was "dull." Many interpreted this to mean that Brad was accusing Jennifer of being the boring one, and thus the reason for him seeking the more "exciting" arms of Angelina Jolie. But my Tinsel Town tattletales tell me it was really Brad who was the homebody during this marriage to Jen-Jen. An Aniston pal tells me, "Brad was the boring one. All he would do on weekends was watch reruns of soap operas and want Jennifer to play Scrabble with him. It was just Scrabble, Scrabble, Scrabble. Jen would want to go out for a nice meal on a Saturday night, but Brad would be in his sweat pants, telling her, "We can order in
now pick your letters and let's Scrabble." Sounds like the pits to me
Not celebrating a birthday anymore: Former Illinois Senator Charles Percy, 91, Delores Hope, 102, wife of late comedian, Bob Hope, and former Chicago radio personality and vice presidential daughter, Eleanor Mondale, 51; breathless.
SNERD - September 21, 2011
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