It helps to know when I'm being unreasonable.
While "Men in Trees" (sneak peek Tuesday on ABC at 10:02 p.m.) isn't, by any means, the worst new show this season (let's go ahead and give that honor to "Happy Hour"), it's the one that provoked the most visceral reaction of scorn in me. My level of disdain for the show far outweighs how offensive the show actually is. I tried to figure out what the actual issue is -- it's not that I don't like Anne Heche (she's fine and we made nice back when she was on "Everwood"). It's not even that the show rips off "Northern Exposure" (it's been awhile since we've had a series in Alaska). The problem is the show is one gigantic cliché where nothing rings even remotely true.
Heche stars as relationship expert, motivational speaker and best selling author Marin Frist. Marin is planning a dream wedding to the perfect man when she heads to Alaska to give a speech. On the plane ride there, she finds out that the man of her dreams is -- that's right -- cheating on her. After being betrayed, she decides, of course, to stay in Alaska.
So during the course of the premiere, she battles a raccoon, plops around in her wedding dress (because of course she traveled with it) and begins a love/hate relationship with rugged outdoorsman Jack (James Tupper).
While watching it I thought, "You know what? I'm all set." I never need another TV show that begins with a woman calling off her wedding ("Friends" set the bar for that and everyone else should just let the dream go). I don't need any more women who set their whole life to restart when a relationship ends. And I don't need any more will-they-or-won't-they couples that seem to have nothing in common but the fact that they were cast on the same show. These done to death situations have exhausted me.
And it got me thinking, what else am I all set with? Well thanks for asking. It's good to get all of this out of the way before the new season starts.
I don't need to see any more season finale car crashes. "Saved" was kind of growing on me but I was so disappointed that in the final moments Wyatt and Sack were side-swiped by another car.
Also I don't need any more slow motion montages set to music -- please see "Cold Case" for clarification.
And maybe we could cut down on the tongue-in-cheek quips that come out of investigators on all the procedural dramas -- please see Gil Grissom of "CSI."
What hackneyed television situations have you had it up to here with? Talk about it on the TV Gal Message Boards.
Quotes of the Week
"You should stay here. I'm going to have to do a little bit of what I do to you at home." Brenda to Fritz on the season finale of "The Closer" just before she goes to interrogate the FBI agent. Thanks to Christie for the quote.
"Twenty-four times a year, you come in here spouting that you can help somebody." Dr. Cuddy to Dr. House on the season premiere of "House." Thanks to Yenae for the quote.
"This is too screwed up -- even for me." Christian to the mother/daughter pair on "Nip/Tuck." Well I should hope so Christian.
Where Have I Seen Them Before?
Jim recognized that Tracy Scoggins, Cat Grant on "Lois & Clark" and Capt. Elizabeth Lochley on "Bablyon 5," was the mother of the mother/daughter team Christian was sleeping with Jim also caught Amanda Pays, Dr. Tina Magee on "The Flash" as Christian's interior decorator.
Judy has been watching "Vanished" and that's okay. She noticed Joseph C. Phillips, Denise's husband Martin on "The Cosby Show" as JT Morse. Phillips also plays Vivian's husband Marcus on "Without a Trace."
Michael O'Keefe, who I'll always remember as Jackie's husband Fred on "Roseanne," was the FBI agent trying to protect the mob boss.
Nicole recognized Amanda Seyfried, Lily on "Veronica Mars" and Sarah Henrickson on "Big Love," as Anne the woman accused of killing a music mogul on "Justice." Paul Schulze, Father Phil Intintola on "The Sopranos" and the doomed Ryan Chappelle on "24," is the DA on "Justice."
Diane and Heather were the first to catch Clare Kramer, Glory on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," was the yoga instructor suffering from scurvy on "House." Carter Jenkins, Miles on "Surface," last season was the son of the man in a vegetative state.