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Getting over golf

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Los Angeles Times Staff Writer

Who’s going to break the news to “The Donald”?

Golf, a sport that had such a bright future that Donald Trump invested millions of dollars in luxury courses across the country, is now sinking in popularity faster than vinyl records.

Last year alone, 121 golf courses shut down throughout the U.S., according to the National Golf Foundation. What’s a weekend warrior who likes to travel to do? Before jumping into another mainstream, conventional sport, why not try something completely different? Here are a few suggestions:

Disc golf

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If you can’t quite pry yourself completely away from golf, try this second cousin to the sport. Instead of hitting a ball into a hole, disc golfers toss a Frisbee into an elevated basket. Disc golf has already generated its own nationwide tournament, although the prize money isn’t close to the kind of dough Tiger Woods rakes in. There are more than 80 disc golf course in California alone. To find the course and tournament near you, click here.

Unicycle mountain biking, a.k.a. MUni

You are probably wondering what kind of brain disorder prompts someone to ride down a mountain trail on a unicycle. We wondered the same thing. As if riding on two wheels down a steep, rock-strewn trail isn’t hard enough, these guys try to make mountain biking even more challenging by riding a unicycle. The last big California MUni festival was held in Santa Cruz in October. To hook up with these maniacs for the next event, click here.

Zorbing

This sport, invented in New Zealand, involves crawling into a giant inflatable ball, rolling down a hill and running like a hamster in an exercise wheel. A few gallons of water are tossed in to make the ride that much wilder. The important thing to know is that most Zorbers can’t stay on their feet during the downhill roll and can’t keep their lunch down afterward. In North America, you can Zorb in Pigeon Forge, Tenn. Info: Call (865) 428-2422 or click here.

Toe wrestling

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Here’s a sport where having big, gnarly toes is an advantage. The object is to force your opponent’s foot to the ground, similar to arm wrestling, in a best of three “toe downs.” This sport was invented in the 1970s in a pub in England -- no doubt after a few too many pints. Championships are still held in June in Ye Olde Royal Oak Inn, Wetton, Staffordshire, so you still have time to get your feet in tip-toe shape for the contest.

Cheese rolling

While you’re in England satisfying your foot fetish, try the sport that combines spinal injuries with fermented curd. The annual cheese rolling race is another silly British tradition, brought to you by the same people that gave us Monty Python. Start at the top of a super-steep hill, roll a Double Gloucester cheese wheel down, and race after it. Falling, flipping and flailing along the way are expected, as are severe joint injuries. The next big race is in May. Click here for more info.

Parkour

For some people, running between buildings, jumping from rooftops and hurdling over balconies and park benches is a good way to avoid bill collectors. For others, it’s a sport called parkour. If you’ve seen the opening chase scene in “Casino Royale,” the latest James Bond movie, you’ve seen parkour in action. Give it a try at the Los Angeles School of Gymnastics, 8450 Higuera St., Culver City. Click here or call (310) 204-1980.

Adult kickball

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And you thought kickball was just for kids. Join the World Adult Kickball Assn. and let your inner third-grader come out. The most recent world kickball championships were held last August in Las Vegas. Don’t worry, you still have time to join the local California kickball league; the season begins March 31. For more information, click here.

Buzkashi

All you need to play this sport is a bunch of guys on horses and a decapitated and disemboweled goat (buzkashi, loosely translated, means “goat grabbling”). Almost anything goes in this, Afghanistan’s national pastime, invented about 2,000 years ago. Be ready to get pummeled with whips, boots, fists and, occasionally, a lifeless goat. To score, grab the lifeless goat, get clear of the other horses and drop the carcass in the scoring circle, called the “circle of justice.” It sounds like a rush but, inexplicably, it has not caught on in the U.S. To watch a match, you’ll have to fly to Kabul , Afghanistan, and find a scalper with tickets close to the “circle of justice.”

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