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Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
I don't even know if I have to say anything about this one. It's...well, it's about a bed. A bed that eats. Some might posit the perfectly logical question of what kind of threat a bed would pose as a movie monster when you could just, y'know, not sleep on the bed. But those people are not the ones who decided to place a disc entitled Death Bed: The Bed That Eats into their DVD player. There is one surprise about the movie, in that there is virtually no camp value to it whatsoever. Instead, it plays out with the slow and melancholy tone of an art house film, complete with performances so somber you'd think that the whole cast was on Ambien. This nonetheless opens up possibilities for a number of unintentionally comedic moments, such as one scene in which a character's arms are stripped of flesh and, instead of screaming in agony like a normal human being, he kind of just stares at them disappointedly for a few seconds like a Looney Tunes character. The flat expression on his face seems to say little more than, "Aww, man, not my hands! I needed those!"
July 20, 2012