Chubby Checker Sues Over Penis-Measuring App

Chubby Checker, famous for “The Twist” and... umm... other great hits, has filed a $500 million lawsuit against Hewlett Packard and Palm, Inc. over one of the company’s new apps, called, you guessed it, “The Chubby Checker.” From USA Today:

The Twist singer's lawyers says it was an unauthorized use of Checker's name and trademark and that it will "blur and tarnish" that trademark by associating the Checker name with "obscene, sexual connotation and images." Checker is seeking a half-billion dollars in damages and restitution.

"He's hurt," Checker's attorney Willie Gary tells AP. "He worked hard to build his name and reputation over the years."

I knew things were bad in the printer industry but I didn’t realize HP had to resort to genital-related apps in order to turn a profit. That must have been a fun board meeting. “According to our quarterly report, many companies are trending toward a digital, paperless work flow and thus our printer sales are projected to drop by 800% in the coming year. But there is good news. We’re finally ready to make the plunge into the lucrative dick app market!” I guess this is how business works now. If the economy doesn’t turn around soon, we can look forward to HP-brand crystal meth pipes in the coming year. Hewlett Packard Meth Pipes, smokin’ the competition since 2013!


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