That Mother*****r Ate Dog Food: A Tribute to Andy Williams

On Tuesday night, music legend Andy Williams passed away in his Branson, Missouri home at the age of 84. Williams had been fighting bladder cancer.

News of Williams' death spread across the Internet yesterday, but I wanted to take a little extra time to put together this tribute to a man who truly deserves our recognition and admiration.

You older folks probably already know about Williams' success. He sang the 1962 mega-hit "Moon River," he hosted "The Andy Williams Show" for several years, and he eventually became a staple of Branson's thriving music scene.

You younger kids might recognize Williams as Nelson Muntz's favorite singer on "The Simpsons."

Or maybe you don't know Andy Williams at all.

If you've never heard Andy Williams' music, it doesn't matter. Here's all you need to know: The guy ate dog food. That's right. After a promising start to his career, Williams found himself in a major slump. He couldn't land a job and had no money for food. So he ate dog food. Nevermind that dog food costs more than rice, beans, grilled cheese or half the stuff in your average Mexican grocery store. The point is, Andy Williams had a dream, and when times were tough, rather than give up on his dream, that motherfucker ate dog food. We live in an age where everyone is pampered; an age where everybody complains when they don't get their way; an age when everyone feels entitled to fame and success without putting in any work; an age where Kim Kardashian is considered a role model. That's why Andy Williams is more important now than ever. Williams didn't get a TV show, a Grammy and a lifelong spot on the Branson stage by complaining or waiting around for someone to hand him a job. He got where he was by working hard, by never giving up, and by eating a Purina omelet for breakfast.

So, next time life has got you down, put on "Moon River," remember the story of Andy Williams, and then quit acting like a goddamn pussy.

Rest in peace.


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