There's no such thing as a good energy drink

ModernMan.com has a new article that offers up the best natural energy drinks, for people who are sick of the usual Red Bull, Monster, etc. Here’s an example:

CHIA DRINKS
You remember those terrible commercials with the Chia Pets? Turns out the same seeds rich in omega-3s and 6s, calcium, and magnesium that made the sheep’s “fur” grow also provide energy in humans

Some people like to use the “What Would Jesus Do?” mantra when it comes to issues of faith, kindness and life-altering decisions. I prefer to use it when purchasing consumer goods. For instance, there’s no chance in hell that Jesus would ever be caught dead drinking an energy drink. If he did, he would have been wearing Ed Hardy sandals and a flat-brimmed crown of thorns with the sticker still on it. He would’ve turned water into Grey Goose and called his apostles “the entourage.” We would not have worshipped that man. So instead of searching for better, more organic versions of energy drinks, why not stick to coffee or soda? Or better yet, just sleep. Sleep is the most natural, organic, locally-grown form of energy in the world. Some might call it “Jesus’ Red Bull.”

 

Follow Tom on Twitter: @thefaketomz 

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