'The X-Files'

The plan: This one needs a flowchart, and we bet we'll still get something wrong. Gray alien colonists came to Earth long before humans evolved, and somehow decided our little blue marble would make for a great new home. The Ice Age was too cold, though, so they left behind a sentient black oil. And... ummm... waited for us to reach the sort of technological state where we could detect and potentially fight them. A group of humans turned traitor, advancing the aliens' plan in exchange for not being oil-infected, but they secretly tried to find a vaccine, too, so they weren't really traitors. Oh, and the oil can turn humans into gray aliens. Did it work? Who the heck knows? It's all too complicated. At this point, Chris Carter could say all redheads are aliens (sorry, Scully) and we'd have to believe him. -- Andy Grieser
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