Wednesday, June 19, 2013
2:06 p.m. PDT

Kathy Bates, 'About Schmidt'

So here's the thing. Gravity is real. And when breasts are also real, they succumb to the effect of gravity. The older you get, and the bigger the breasts are, the more gravity takes hold. And if you're asking women to go topless, it's not just the perky-breasted, untouched-by-gravity women who will take you up on that. <br><br> So bravo, Kathy Bates, for letting it all hang out as an amorous future in-law who attempts to seduce Jack Nicholson. Her performance uncovers a vital bit of wisdom to all: Ask not for whom the breasts loll -- they loll for thee. <br><br> <b>Bonus leer-fodder for those who enjoy the male torso</b>: Gravity has also had its way with Jack Nicholson -- and you can see that in the hot tub scene, too.

( Getty Images )

So here's the thing. Gravity is real. And when breasts are also real, they succumb to the effect of gravity. The older you get, and the bigger the breasts are, the more gravity takes hold. And if you're asking women to go topless, it's not just the perky-breasted, untouched-by-gravity women who will take you up on that.

So bravo, Kathy Bates, for letting it all hang out as an amorous future in-law who attempts to seduce Jack Nicholson. Her performance uncovers a vital bit of wisdom to all: Ask not for whom the breasts loll -- they loll for thee.

Bonus leer-fodder for those who enjoy the male torso: Gravity has also had its way with Jack Nicholson -- and you can see that in the hot tub scene, too.

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