The popular lad mag instead gave top honors to supermodel Marisa Miller.
"Not since Cindy Crawford ruled the catwalk has a pinup born and bred on U.S. soil so thoroughly captured the imagination of the American male," states the magazine.
This leaves the usual suspects like Johansson and Jessica Biel to follow in the model's long-legged wake.
Also making the Top 10 are Eva Longoria Parker, former "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star Sarah Michelle Gellar, Elisha Cuthbert, Eva Mendes, singer Christina Aguilera, the rehabbed Lindsay Lohan and Disney Channel star Ashley Tisdale with her new nose.
Other notables on the lengthy list include: MySpace sensation/bisexual Tila Tequila, "Dancing With the Stars" pros Cheryl Burke and Julianne Hough, " Harry Potter's" barely legal Emma Watson, pint-sized favorite Kristen Bell, "Gossip Girl" rivals Leighton Meester and Blake Lively (of course Serena scored better), Joss Whedon favorite Eliza Dushku, the scandal-free Hilary Duff, Ashlee Simpson and Vanessa Hudgens, whose spot was likely sealed when nude photos of her appeared on the Internet.
Check out the Maxim site for the complete Hot 100 list.