"My gosh, they went through all that just for crabs?" If that sounds suspiciously like the aftermath of a frat party you attended in college, we promise you will much prefer this week's TV Party where we celebrate all that is crab as well as the seamen who help bring them from the ocean floor to your dinner table. That's right, we're partying around the world's most dangerous job with "Deadliest Catch." Remember to put on your rubbers; the deck gets slippery.
Setting the scene:Though they actually use crab pots - or cage traps - for catching crabs in the Bering Sea, your best bet is to decorate with fishing nets, faux lobster cages and any other nautical novelty you might deem appropriate. Note: Framed decorative seashells are lame. You need netting, buoys and plastic crabs. A 465-gallon aquarium with live crabs might help make it seem slightly more real - except for the lack of 60-foot seas and the constant fear of death.
Attire:We can't fathom anyone coming to this party not dressed as the Gorton's fisherman, but other reasonably pertinent accessories might be a nice touch: fishnet stockings, rubber boots and wet suits, and, of course, lobster/crab bibs from Red Lobster.
On the menu:First we thought beef, you know, for giggles. But Alaskan king crab is what these guys are living and dying for, so how about we cough up the $18 per pound (and up) and steam about 10 pounds? Search online for techniques that whet your appetite. And remind everyone the party is BYOCBAM - bring your own clarified butter and mallet.
On the hi-fi:The music world has given us so many great songs about the sea that we could go on and on, but here are a few to get you started: "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot, "Sloop John B" by the Beach Boys, "The Downeaster Alexa" by Billy Joel, "Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)" by Looking Glass, "Anchors Aweigh!" by the United States Navy Band, "Under the Sea" from "The Little Mermaid" and "Beyond the Sea" by Bobby Darin.
The showstopper:What this party needs is salty men telling salty tales of the sea. Unfortunately, we don't know any, so the next best thing is to buy a crabbing boat and park that sucker right on your front lawn for party night. Check out www.usedboats.com and catch the crabs of your dreams. Seagull poop optional.