As Frank Barone used to say, "holy crap."
They killed Ana-Lucia. And Libby. And Nadia. And Renze.
You know it's May sweeps when characters start dropping faster than Paula Abdul's tears.
A look at some of the shocking things that happened last week:
Michael kills Ana-Lucia and Libby on "Lost": Alas, poor Hurley. Like "24," "Lost" is proving itself to be a show that is not afraid to kill off anyone, at any time, with or without cause. And what a brilliant move to have them killed not by an accidental shooting (a la Shannon) or an accident (a la Boone). To have one of their own become one of them is an excellent development. Why did Michael do it? What happened to him while he was gone? I can't wait to find out. And, by the way, I actually happened to talk to executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse on the day this episode aired. They said that the characters' demise had nothing to do with Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros' real-life legal troubles. That this jaw-dropping turn of events was the plan all along. This actually makes a lot of sense because a) People have been in more trouble with the law and remained on a TV show; b) They seem the most expendable characters in terms of the overall plot (poor Libby never even got her own back story); and c) let's be honest, nobody liked the Ana Lucia character anyway. Whatever their reasons, it made for one of this season's most jaw-dropping moments.Aaron Echolls is found not guilty for the murder of Lily Kane on "Veronica Mars": I'm delighted any time we get to see Harry Hamlin do this role so well. And I'm all for a show that doesn't forget its past. I've seen this Tuesday's season finale (9 p.m. on UPN) and it is fantastic. I mean fantastic like I couldn't sleep after I watched it since it was so simultaneously disturbing and adrenaline inducing. Now I wouldn't dare to ruin all the surprises that are jam-packed into the finale. But I will tell you this: I think you'll love Logan even more at the end of the hour (in fact I may have to leave Bill Buchanan to run away with him), Kristen Bell deserves an Emmy nomination, the culprit is perfectly plausible yet still totally shocking and the final moments will leave you breathless for next season.Sloane kills Nadia and Anna Espinosa kills Renze on "Alias": So, I'm with you. I'm not thrilled with this whole Anna is cloned to look like Sydney business. It was a great shock with Faux Francie, but now the thrill is gone and it makes the show seem more than a little cartoonish. It harkened back to the season three finale when everyone was donning masks to look like someone else (and they would have gotten away with it to if it weren't for those darn kids). And, frankly, I'm not even that shocked by the revelation that Sloane is still obsessed with Rambaldi and that he is ultimately evil. But I'm going to stay with my friends to the very end.Quotes of the Week"I laid on top of you naked last night so how about you wax nostalgic about that." Christina to Dr. Burke on "Grey's Anatomy.""Um guys, who's Rambaldi?" Rachel asking the key question on "Alias." Thanks to Ted for the quote."Is that your final answer?" Ryan to Simon after he changes his opinion of Katherine's performance on "American Idol.""Why is there an intern in my bathroom? It's not my birthday." Jordan to Dr. Cox on "Scrubs.""You have no idea what you're dealing with you little ass kisser." Bill Buchanan to Miles on "24.""There's still so much I want to do ... I want to travel ... live overseas as an artist ... maybe even have a lesbian relationship." Lily to Robin in what we all want to believe was a "Buffy" reference on "How I Met Your Mother." Thanks to David for the quote."They never had this much difficulty with Bernie ... ." Agent DiNozzo on "NCIS" as he wrestles with a dead guy. Thanks to Andy for the quote."With your permission, ma'am, we'd like to go through the house, baby-proof it from top to bottom; socket protectors, safety latches, gates for the stairs, spread spectrum R/F detectors, perimeter sensors, explosive sniffers ... all the usual stuff." Sydney's federal agent babysitter on "Alias." Thanks to Paul for the quote."I left early today and apparently that caused everyone's IQ to drop 60 points." Richard to Emily on "Gilmore Girls." Who hasn't felt that way about the people they work with?"They're all hybrids. The people, not the cars." Tom to Russell on "Invasion." Thanks to Aaron for being the first to submit this very popular quote."So, it's a show about three hookers and their mom?" Brian on "Family Guy" while watching "Sex and the City." Thanks to Damian for the quote.Where Have I Seen Them Before?That was Ron Howard's brother, Clint, playing the low-life thief Rodney on "My Name Is Earl." Mike O'Malley, Jimmy on "Yes, Dear," was the cop who really wanted to be a professional bowler. O'Malley's sister, Kerry was one of the cops. You'll see her soon in the upcoming Showtime series "Brotherhood" (which by the way should have been one of the shows to look forward to this summer along with "The 4400").Tracey Needham, C.D. on "The Division" and Paige on "Life Goes On," was the mother of the missing girl on "Without a Trace." Amrie and Diane remembered that Ross Malinger, the little boy from "Sleepless in Seattle," was the missing girl's dead brother.Jayne Brook has been everywhere this season. She's drug-addicted daughter on "Boston Legal," Hannah's mother on "Everwood," and she was the patient Izzy and George were trying to make have a seizure on "Grey's Anatomy." Brook was also Jamie Avery on "John Doe" and Dr. Diane Grad on "Chicago Hope."Albert Hall, Alan Milliken on the third season of "24," Riley on "Thief," and Judge Seymore Walsh on "The Practice" and "Ally McBeal" was the violinist who died on "Grey's Anatomy." And it was a good week for "Yes, Dear" stars. Jean Louisa Kelly, Kim on "Yes, Dear," was the mother of seven who wanted to have her tubes tied without telling her husband.Mark was the first to catch Kirk Acevedo, Miguel Alvarez on "Oz" and Hector Salazar on "Law & Order: Trial by Jury," was the federal marshal on "24."TVK and Louis were the first to catch M.C. Gainey, the leader of the Others on "Lost," was Claude, Peter's sponsor on "Desperate Housewives."Anne and Maura were the first to catch Jean Smart's real life husband Richard Gilliland was the captain of the plane. Gilliland and Smart met when he played J.D. Shackelford, Mary Jo's boyfriend on "Designing Women."Stacy was the first to recognize Amanda Seyfried, Lilly Kane on "Veronica Mars" and Sarah Henrickson on "Big Love" was the murderous bridesmaid on "CSI." Daniel Roebuck, Leslie Arzt on "Lost," was the caterer.Robin recognized the people playing Rose's parents on "7th Heaven." Her mom was Megan Gallagher, Catherine Black on "Millennium." And her father was David Starzyk, Dick and Beaver's father on "Veronica Mars" and Billie and Christy's dad on "Charmed."Jeff Perry also has had a busy TV season. He is currently playing Meredith's long lost father on "Grey's Anatomy" and was the man holding Dr. Macy hostage on "Crossing Jordan." Michelle remembered that he was the man Sawyer thought was Sawyer on "Lost" and Detective Harvey Leek on "Nash Bridges" and we'll always remember him as the teacher on "My So-Called Life."All of this week's bonus points go to Doug and Syed who were the first to realize that Paul Adelstein, currently playing the nefarious Agent Paul Kellerman on "Prison Break," was Turk's crazy but sensitive attending surgeon on "Scrubs."Highlights of the Week Ahead
All times listed are Eastern Time for May 8 to 14It now seems official that this will be the series finale of "7th Heaven" (Monday, WB, 8 p.m.). I can't quite figure out what the show is going to do. They seem to have played both sides with the Rose and Simon romance. I don't think they should get married (they've sure convinced me they're not actually in love and too young) but that doesn't seem the "7th Heaven" way.After you watch Barry Watson return to Glen Oak, tune into the season finale of "What About Brian" (Monday, ABC, 10 p.m.). This is definitely a show that I would love to see return next season.Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe on "24") stops by "Gilmore Girls" at 8 p.m. on the WB. Hmmmm ... let's hope she doesn't taser anyone. I have to admit that if what we've all heard will happen does happen in the season finale, I'm very worried. Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino, who wrote the finale (and Amy directed), will not be back with the show next season. The characters' have a distinctive voice that I'm not sure can be replicated sans the husband and wife team. And will they have abandoned our girls in a position that is tough to get out of?NBC goes old-school style and offers super-sized 40 minute finales of "My Name is Earl" and "The Office" (Thursday, NBC, 8:40 p.m.).President Bartlet moves out and President Santos moves in on the series finale of NBC's "The West Wing" (Sunday, NBC, 9 p.m.). The administration's ultimate hurrah is preceded by a one hour retrospective (8 p.m.). Here's hoping we have a lot more Donna and Josh interaction. We've waited a long, long time for this.Thank goodness for DVRs because "Malcolm in the Middle" also says good-bye Sunday at 8:30 p.m. on FOX. Even if you tuned out of the show lately, don't miss this sweet episode that gives Jane Kaczmarek one last chance to absolutely shine.You know, I've tried to remain somewhat supportive of "Desperate Housewives" (Sunday, ABC, 9 p.m.) But the catfight with Edie and those Hooters-like waitresses sent me over the edge.That's all for today. Sorry there wasn't room to discuss the pilots that I hope get picked up next season (so much TV, so little time). I'll be back next week with thoughts on the season finale of "How I Met Your Mother," "Prison Break," "Scrubs" and much much more. Have a question, seen a familiar face, have an inside scoop or want to nominate a quote of the week? Write me at email@example.com. Copyright © 2014, Los Angeles Times