Victim's sister: 'Homeless people are human'
In an e-mail to a Times reporter, slaying victim's sister expresses shock about his violent death and explains the circumstances surrounding her brother's life on the streets.
John McGraham's sister Susanne McGraham-Paisley sent the following e-mail to a Times reporter. It has been abridged for space reasons.
"I saw your article this morning about my brother; he has been identified as of late yesterday. He was neither a businessman or a Vietnam veteran and our family is not wealthy. But he was kind and caring and harmless and it is simply heart-breaking and enraging that someone could treat him this way; a tragic end to his tragic life. He is survived by myself, two brothers and a sister. . . .
"I saw your article this morning about my brother; he has been identified as of late yesterday. He was neither a businessman or a Vietnam veteran and our family is not wealthy. But he was kind and caring and harmless and it is simply heart-breaking and enraging that someone could treat him this way; a tragic end to his tragic life. He is survived by myself, two brothers and a sister. . . .
"I wish people better understood the mental turmoil a human being can go through that puts and keeps them in such a place that they can't seem to get out. Our family has tried for many, many years to help him but it seemed beyond our reach. My siblings no longer live in the LA area but we always came each Christmas with food, clothing, money, treats. I brought my two children and my then-husband by each Thanksgiving as well. I came more frequently, as my business demands allowed, and saw him last about three weeks ago when I brought my cousin to see him, bring him food, give him money.
. . . "Though I can't explain the intense sadness and anger I feel, it has been a great comfort to myself and my brothers and sisters to know that he was not completely alone, unnoticed, untouched by other humans -- because that was what we had imagined. The people who did this need to be identified and brought to justice. If they could perform such a cruel act on our brother, they will do it to someone else and we shouldn't sit by and let that happen.
"I hope the horrific crime against our brother will make people realize that homeless people are human, they do have family, they are cared for. Several people, when they had learned my brother was homeless for more than two decades would say, 'He chooses to live this way then.'
. . . "Though I can't explain the intense sadness and anger I feel, it has been a great comfort to myself and my brothers and sisters to know that he was not completely alone, unnoticed, untouched by other humans -- because that was what we had imagined. The people who did this need to be identified and brought to justice. If they could perform such a cruel act on our brother, they will do it to someone else and we shouldn't sit by and let that happen.
"I hope the horrific crime against our brother will make people realize that homeless people are human, they do have family, they are cared for. Several people, when they had learned my brother was homeless for more than two decades would say, 'He chooses to live this way then.'
"I find that comment so offensive and so lacking compassion. Some might say we all choose to be where we are, but we don't all start on an even playing field, and we aren't all dealt the same cards. My brother didn't consciously choose to live out on the streets, he just didn't seem to know what to do with himself. He was a star employee as a bellman when the old Ambassador Hotel was open. He was never late, didn't miss a day of work, made good tips through his kind and helpful ways.
"Families of homeless are often helpless to make diagnoses, correct problems without intervention. Both my sister and my ex-husband contacted various agencies, but never with any success. . . .
"Since the incident, I can't help but wonder what his last thoughts were . . . baffled by the liquid being poured on him, shock of the fire on his body, reaction and then they say, the man CHASED him!
It bothers me at such a deep level to think of my brother running from his perpetrator, trying to get away, and this cruel human being kept after him until he was satisfied my brother was sufficiently tortured by fire. . . .
"Families of homeless are often helpless to make diagnoses, correct problems without intervention. Both my sister and my ex-husband contacted various agencies, but never with any success. . . .
"Since the incident, I can't help but wonder what his last thoughts were . . . baffled by the liquid being poured on him, shock of the fire on his body, reaction and then they say, the man CHASED him!
It bothers me at such a deep level to think of my brother running from his perpetrator, trying to get away, and this cruel human being kept after him until he was satisfied my brother was sufficiently tortured by fire. . . .
It's November and it's officially fat-pants season. That's right.
Go ahead and cut back on dining out if you need to, but don't cut it out of your budget altogether. Southern California's restaurants need your dollars.
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