Why is USC No. 6 in my rankings? Let me count the reasons

Answer: You are presumptuous to assume I am in the right state of mind.

Why is USC sixth?

I don't know.

Why is the sky green? Why is the ocean yellow?

Why does Oregon need 400 different uniform combinations?

How come, no matter how hot it is, Ohio State Coach Jim Tressel wears a sweater vest?

Why is there a Bowling Green in Ohio and also one in Kentucky?

Why did Mike Scioscia order the suicide-squeeze play in a 2-2 game, one out, the go-ahead run at third, Erick Aybar at the plate, with red-hot Chone Figgins standing on deck?

How come a base runner is out if the catcher drops the ball after tagging him in a rundown, but is not out after running over the catcher at home until the umpire is sure the catcher has the ball?

Why are we talking about baseball?

USC is sixth because I needed a team to put between fifth and seventh. The Trojans are sixth because I thought five teams deserve to be ahead of them.

Putting USC fifth would have meant dropping Alabama, and, well, that was last week's mailbag.

None of it matters because no one around the country respects my poll anyways.

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Q: What has USC done this season to merit being the top-ranked team with one loss? Are people still viewing USC as the program that was awarded an AP title in 2003, won the national title in 2004, and came within two yards of doing it in 2005? Or are they looking at what the program has been since . . . very good but not title worthy, and hence no better than five or six other programs in any given year?

Gerald Ball

Norcross, Ga.

A: Let's examine the merit points: USC has defeated three schools by a combined score of 131-20. Two of those teams were ranked and one of the nonconference games -- I know this comes as a shock to the agoraphobic Southeastern Conference -- was all the way across the country.