A Trump Card Against Injuries

If Doug Flutie or Herschel Walker, or both, suddenly went down with career-ending injuries, where would Donald Trump get the money to pay off their contracts?

Easy. Insurance.

According to the New York Times, both contracts are covered, just as Trump covered the three-year, $1-million contract of Gary Barbaro when the defensive back signed with the New Jersey Generals in November, 1983. At a cost of $27,970, Trump took out a $1.18-million policy with Thompson Heath & Bond Ltd. of London.

Last year, Barbaro went down with a knee injury, and this year he found he couldn’t play. He was examined by doctors from Thompson Heath & Bond Co., and they determined he should receive full benefits.

Concludes the New York Times: “So, in the final analysis, Barbaro, playing less than one full season, earned $1 million for himself and about $152,000 for the Generals.

Said Earl Weaver in the Sporting News, when asked if he would rather manage under the conditions today rather than the conditions 20 years ago: “It wouldn’t make any difference to me. I had fruitcakes playing for me in the ‘60s and I had fruitcakes in the ‘80s.”

Don Mattingly couldn’t understand it. The Yankees were only 2 1/2 games out of the lead, and George Steinbrenner already was ready to push the button.

“Geez, I thought maybe we were about 10 back by now,” Mattingly told Claire Smith of the Hartford Courant. “What’s the magic number, anyway?”

Add Steinbrenner: When his colt Eternal Prince goes in the Kentucky Derby, Steinbrenner will be making his second try in the Run for the Roses. In 1977 he entered Steve’s Friend, which went off at 29-1 and finished fifth.

“That was Seattle Slew’s year,” he said. “My horse was running well, but at one point on the track they used some darker dirt to cover a wet spot or something. When my horse and another horse got there, they jumped the darker dirt and lost stride.”

Question: Do you think he accepts those kind of excuses from Yogi?

When Bernhard Langer followed up his win in the Masters with a victory in the Heritage, Sports Illustrated said it proved he wasn’t a one-week wonder like another cross-handed putter, Orville Moody, winner of the 1969 U.S. Open.

Bad example. Moody, in 1969, also won the World Series of Golf, earning the biggest purse of the year at $50,000, and teamed with Lee Trevino to win the World Cup for the United States.

Commenting on the toughness of Jim Rice, Alan Greenberg of the Hartford Courant wrote: “When Wade Boggs was out of the lineup last season with a back injury, Rice called him ‘Miss Lynn,’ a reference to Rice’s contempt for ex-teammate Fred Lynn, who many Red Sox veterans feel babied himself at the team’s expense.”

Not wanting to fight “the law of gravity,” the Houston Sports Assn. dropped trespassing charges against Morganna Roberts, the Kissing Bandit, who ran onto the field during the opener at the Astrodome and kissed Nolan Ryan and Dickie Thon of the Astros.

Her attorney, the flamboyant Richard (Racehorse) Haynes, had planned to argue at a hearing Friday that the law of gravity made Roberts fall over the Astrodome’s rail.

Morganna claims to measurements of 60-23-39.

“We just figured under the advice of Isaac Newton not to fight the law of gravity,” said spokeswoman Molly Ancelin of the Houston Sports Assn.

Quotebook

Dan Quisenberry, Kansas City Royal relief pitcher: “Most pitchers fear losing their fastball. Since I don’t have one, the only thing I have to fear is fear itself.”