STAGE REVIEW : ‘VEGETABLE’ WILTS IN THE GLARE

Did you know that F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote a play? It’s called “The Vegetable” (1923) and it’s running at the Jai Theatre in West Hollywood. Don’t see it.

If you do see it (possibly you are writing your Ph.D. thesis on Fitzgerald: thousands have), don’t go to a Sunday matinee. The Jai Theatre is a storefront on Fountain Avenue and the afternoon glare leaks into the auditorium, damaging what little stage illusion the players have managed to evoke. The first thing this group needs is blackout paper.

After that, company members might work on their performances. Or perhaps work less on them. Everybody in this cast seems to affect a funny accent or a funny giggle or a funny way of moving, as if the key to playing comedy is to ask for a laugh. In general this works best with relatives and friends, who were not in short supply at Sunday’s matinee.

Director Edward Ludlum also seems to have encouraged his players to take all the time they need in preparing their response to a line. Some of them take so long that it’s not clear they heard the line. It’s like watching a Toby show played in slow motion. The performance, for the record, lasts three hours.

Underneath somewhere is Fitzgerald’s play, a satiric fantasy about a little drudge who becomes President of the U.S.A. on the way to realizing his real ambition, which is to be a postman. Its message--that it’s better to do an ordinary job well than to chase after a dream career for which one doesn’t have an ounce of ability--should be pondered by some of the people involved with “The Vegetable.” Leaving the theater, I was contemplating a career change myself.

‘THE VEGETABLE’ F. Scott Fitzgerald’s play, presented by Playwrights/Actors in Residence at the Jai Theatre. Producer Brian Depew, in association with Clark Branson. Director Edward Ludlum. Sets Mark Wren. Lights Mark Todd. Sound Kenneth Tsumara, F. J. Bolger. Makeup Dorrie Sterling. Production associate Donna Potswald. Production stage manager Bolger. With Steve M. Ray, Marla Rix, Paul Bordman, Kim Robinson, Donald Scribner, Arthur Ross, Neal Janno, Louis Hacsi, Brett Kirby, Stanley Hainsworth, Jack Ross Obney, Robert L. Howard, Maxine Ballantyne, Donna Potswald, Louis Hacsi. Plays Fri.-Sun. at 8 p.m., with a Sun. matinee at 2 p.m. Closes Aug. 11. 7956 W. Fountain Ave., (213) 850-1805.