From the Cubicle

Five things I learned on my day off yesterday:

1. The gas pump shuts itself off once the meter reaches $50. Sadly, this isn't enough to fill my tank of a SUV.


2. Boxed wine and twizzlers complement each other quite well.


Drew Gooden

really, really, really needs to



4. I now burn easily. Darn you fair-skinned, blonde-haired mother!


The Cubs

can win one-run games.


for the Cubs in a row. Clutch hitting? Check. Steady bullpen? Check. More

Michael Barrett


. This guy is surrounded by more controversy than

Lindsay Lohan

. Barrett, who is supposed to play today, will be rested more in the future. But not because Lou doesn't like him or his cooking, but because he said so. Also, Lou knows that his team is

. And people say this guy isn't clued in.

Ted Lilly

is on the mound today for the Cubs. Sure hope he isn't too tired after his 10-pitch performance on Sunday. About whether the ejection was a foregone conclusion even before the game started,

, "I think the umpire, Wolf, was doing his impression of Karnac the Magnificent. He probably rehearsed his answer all morning long in his hotel bathroom, knowing he'd be wearing a mike for


and knowing Lilly was going to plunk someone in the first inning, as we all did."

The Padres

counter with David "Boomer" Wells, who beat the Cubs 2-1 on

Wells, who has a penchant being

, owns a 2-1 record in four career starts vs. the Cubs.

Also, if you're thinking about trying something crazy at Wrigley....there are

that can read the label on a beer can. So please, for the sake of those operators, keep your shirt on.



Email at the bottom. Comment board to the right. No snack service. Sorry.

Make your

. If that's not your cup of tea,


Baseball to come shortly.

First inning

Just announced that the Padres purchased the contract of infielder Chase Headley from their Double-A farm club and optioned infielder/outfielder Paul McAnulty to Triple-A Portland. Adjust your lineups accordingly.

Bob is wearing a yellow WGN polo today; Len is sporting a green WGN one. Me, I have on a brown (logoless) one. Play ball.

Hiram Bocachica

leads it off for the Padres. First pitch strike. Wind blowing in today from right-center, according to WGN. Lilly gets his first strikeout today, Bocachica goes down swinging.

Jose Cruz

Jr. hits the second pitch he sees into center for a hit. Lilly walks Adrian Gonzalez. Two on, one out. Quickly 3-0 for

Mike Cameron

-- a lot of early balls by Lilly.

Derrek Lee

walks to the mound and has a chat with Lilly. Clearly, he scared Lilly because Lilly throws a strike. Well done. Cameron hits the next pitch deep to left-center, where Soriano and Pie almost collide before Soriano makes the catch. Dude, someone call "I got it."


would. Runners stay put. Josh Bard now - on 2-1, Cruz Jr. advances to third without a throw from Barrett. Hate on Michael Barrett time. Bard pops the 3-2 pitch out to Fontenot at second.

Smehta, I wouldn't say crazy delicious. I'd go with mighty good. And Web Poll, Sonic...mos def.

rock my world. Soriano grounds Wells' first pitch to shortstop Greene for the first out. Pie (pronounced Peeee-a) also grounds out to SS. D-Lee also hits it to SS, but it gets through the infield for a hit. Len reports that

Cliff Floyd

's dad is doing much better. So that's good news, what with

Father's Day

right around the corner. Floyd cranks a single to CF, and that's back-to-back singles for the Cubs.

Mark DeRosa

runs the count to 3-0, then 3-1, then 3-2 before taking a walk to first. Bases loaded for Michael Barrett. He pops up the first pitch to Cameron in CF.

Nada, nada.

Second inning

No bottles at the beach, so boxed wine is the way to go. America's Funniest Home Videos is still on TV. Really? And to think, they canceled Gilmore Girls. Khalil Greene flies out right to Soriano for the first out. Caldarelli is slightly creeped out by the waving Walgreen Celebrity bat kids. Recently called up Headley flies out to Pie. With two Giles on the roster, none are playing for the Padres today.

Geoff Blum

grounds out to end the inning. 1-2-3 for Lilly.

No score.

I'm probably just hearing things, but I swear

is the new commercial voice of Wendy's. Anyone? Ted Lilly has a chat with the trainer in the dugout. Hmmm. Probably just telling him to stay hydrated. Fontenot flies out to shallow LF to start things off. Theriot takes the 3-1 pitch and flies out to Bocachica in RF. I don't like typing Bocachica. Be prepared for spelling mistakes. Lilly grounds out to Wells, who underhands it to first for the out.


Third inning

Never saw the Pussycat Doll's show on the WB/CW/whatever. I'm sure it was, um, intelligent. Fun...

David Wells

batting! That bat looks really tiny in his heads. He lines out to DeRosa at third. Bocachica, who we're told is getting over

, strikes out on four pitches. Ew, better hope he doesn't cough on someone. Cruz flies out to Soriano. 1-2-3 again.

No score.

Drew Gooden link is fixed

. Back to the top of the lineup: Mr. Soriano. He strikes out swinging. 0-2 count for Pie, who also strikes out swinging. D-Lee drives one to the LF corner for a double. That's another two-out hit for him. Floyd is rocking a grey/gray t-shirt underneath his uni. And someone in the stands is rocking a large black and white cowboy hat. Oh my. Floyd goes down swinging, stranding Lee at second.


Fourth inning

Shocker: The new Wheaties box will feature the

San Antonio Spurs

-- it will be available nationally in the next three to four weeks, per the AP. Gonzalez grounds out to Fontenot. WGN showing

Kerry Wood

throwing before the game. DeRosa makes a nice play at third to rob Cameron of a single. Good throw to first for the second out. So much for that - Bard hits one almost to the same spot, just out of DeRosa's range. He runs into second with a stand-up double. Before that hit Lilly had retired 10 straight. Swining = Swinging. I can't type today. My bad. Greene smacks a liner to DeRosa, who makes a crazy catch and tumbles down. Len really, really liked that play too. End of inning.


Seriously, three straight blasts to DeRosa. Two big stops. Nice going. And he'll lead-off the inning. He has himself a stand-up double after hitting the ball in between RF and CF. Someone get that man a cookie. Barrett, in his first start since Tuesday, hits a single to RF. DeRosa moves to third...corners, no outs. Bob says Barrett hit the ball too hard for DeRosa to score from second.

Fontenot takes the 0-2 pitch to deep RF for the out, but that will score DeRosa

. Barrett stays at first. Len and Bob on why the


playoffs ended early: Was it because it was a sweep? Why, yes it was. Good point. Theriot hits a single to LF, Barrett moves to second. Lilly tries to bunt, but pops it up and the catcher Bard makes the catch. Soriano flies out to Cameron on the second pitch to end the inning.


Cubs 1-0.


Fifth inning

Faulty Memory: Sox aren't better than the Cubs. And calling

- yeah, that's not gonna end well. Newly called-up Headley flies out to Floyd in RF, who slides after catching the ball. One out. Blum grounds out to Mr. Defensive DeRosa for the second out. Wells bunts (why?), and Lilly makes the put-out to first.

Cubs 1-0.

Pie will start things off in the fifth. Lotsa shades and hats at the ballpark today. Quite sunny. After fouling off a few, Pie strikes out looking. D-Lee is 2-for-2 today. Now he's 3-for-3...hits it deep to LF. It looked like it hit off the bottom of the basket, but the umps will discuss. HR? Double? Hold please. A replay would be nice WGN. C'mon. Oh boy - looks like it hit off a fan's glove and fell back into the ballpark. It's a fan with no shirt and camouflage pants. Lovely. That would have been a HR. But Lee will have to settle for a double. Floyd pops out in the infield. The other bleacher fans are having words with the camouflage pants dude. DeRosa pops out in the infield too. The fan makes the "gun to his head" symbol and we go to commerical.

Sixth inning

Nick Dougherty is still

. He's got some crazy hair. Len and Bob say (after many replays) that the ball probably would not have been a HR. Pretty close though. Bocachica (I spelled it right without looking!) has himself a lead-off double. Cruz files out to Soriano, the B-man stays at second. The camouflage fan looks like he's leaving the park - he wasn't escorted, just embarrassed. Gonzalez lifts one deep to Floyd, who leaps but misses.

That's a triple for Gonzalez and it will score Bocachica.

Tied 1-1.

Oh boy. Looks like more fan interference...a fan reached over the basket and tipped the ball. Floyd is mad. Lou is chatting with ump. At least this fan has a t-shirt on. Floyd seems upset because he thinks he had a chance to catch it. Everyone points at the dude, bye-bye. He's outta here. So man at third, one out. Cameron pops it up to Lee, who makes the catch. Two outs. Bard flies out to Fontenot at second to end the inning.

Tied 1-1. Times of fan interference: 2.

Comment from Deja vu: "On Friday, June 15, it's buttered fingers day at

Wrigley Field

! The first 5,000 fans sitting in the bleachers will get their fingers buttered, courtesy of Butterfinger!" Exaclty. Barrett hits a lead-off single.

Fontenot hits a two-run HR. Cubs 3-1.

The most amazing part: the fans actually let the ball fall into the basket. A smart fan! Theriot grounds out to second base. Lilly does the same. Two outs for Soriano. He fouls it to RF, and Bocachica attempts to catch it but slides on the bullpen mound. Ouch.

Soriano hits the ball super deep for a HR. Cubs 4-1.

That's on Waveland Avenue now. Caldarelli and Len both wonder if camouflage fan was out there to catch it. Pie grounds out to second.

Cubs 4-1.

Seventh inning

Greene rips one into LF for a single. Soriano's blast last inning went 395 feet. That's far. Headley hits into a 6-4-3 double play - ah, the LSU combo. Two outs. Blum pops up the first ball he see, Lee makes the catch.

Cubs 4-1.

Your TMOTTBG sung by


New pitcher for the Padres: Cla Meredith. D-Lee is up. He hits one deep to LF for another double. Floyd walks. Meredith is a side-armer. Bob chats up Frasier's dad. He says that show will stand the test of time. Bob knows TV. DeRosa hits into a 4-6-3 double play, Lee runs over to third base. Two outs. Barrett flies out in foul territory. Lee is stranded. Bob and Len don't comment on his, however...too busy talking about Eddie the dog.

Cubs 4-1.

Eighth inning

Russell Branyan hits for the pitcher Meredith, and he hits a single. Bocachica now...quickly 3-0 in him. Wuertz and Ohman are warming in the bullpen. Angel Pagan (guess he pinch-ran for Floyd in the 7th) takes over RF. Bocachica pops out to DeRosa at third. Cruz pops it up in foul territory, D-Lee is there to make the catch. Two outs, runner at first. Gonzalez swings and misses at strike #2...0-2 count. Lilly fires one right down the middle, and Gonzalez misses.

Cubs 4-1.

Eleven hits for the Cubs thus far. Kevin Cameron is the new pitcher for the Padres. First up: Fontenot, who has 3 of the 4 Cub RBIs today.

Ryan Dempster

is now warming up for the Cubs. Fontenot hits the 2-2 pitch right to the second baseman for the ground out. Aw, Big Z and Barrett are fake fighting in the dugout. How cute. Theriot grounds out for the second out. It's Lilly's spot in the lineup...we have a pinch-hitter. It's

Jacque Jones

, and he quickly grounds out to end the inning.

Cubs 4-1.

Ninth inning

Dempster time. Cameron takes the second pitch deep, but Soriano is there to make the catch. Be sure to check out Len and Bob's blog...they say they will have more commentary on Basketgate 2007. Hilarious, those two. Bard's bat goes flying as he swings and misses. DUCK! A few pitches later, he flies out to Pie. Fans are on their feet.

Chris Duhon

, in attendance, is on his feet too. He's wearing a green t-shirt. Greene swings and misses on a 1-2 count. Game over.

Final thoughts

Even a few idiot fans couldn't stop the Cubs from winning this one. Nice outing for Lilly. And a nice 1-2-3 ninth inning for Dempster. Now if you'll excuse me, my very red shoulder is on fire. Have a good weekend!