When news broke Friday that the marriage of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was ending, it didn’t take Twitter long to react with the kind of snark one can expect in 140 characters or less.
A sampling of the best lines:
Katie Weasel @KatieWeasel: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorcing and Adele’s pregnant. I somehow doubt these events are linked
HAL 9000 @HAL9000_: Mimi Rogers 1956; Nicole Kidman 1967; Katie Holmes 1978 - my supercomputer analysis says Tom Cruise’s next wife was born in 1989
Joel Ingersoll @FlyoverJoel: CNN Breaking News: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to Tie the Knot.
DRUNK HULK @DRUNKHULK: TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES DIVORCE! THEIR MARRIAGE FINALLY JUMP THE COUCH!
Jen Kirkman @JenKirkman: The divorce of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise has made me lose all faith in sham marriages.
Darth Vader @DepressedDarth: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes finally decided that pretending to be in love was ‘Mission: Impossible’.
Steve Death @Its_Death: Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes are divorcing. A petite brunette is back on the market! Katie’s single as well.
Andy Borowitz @BorowitzReport: If Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can’t make it work, what chance do the rest of us have? A pretty excellent one.
pourmecoffee @pourmecoffee: People reporting Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorcing. Obama got her safely out!
The Fix @TheFix: Katie Holmes currently on a bus to NYC to meet up with her true love: Pacey Witter.
Man Woman Statue @manwomanstatue: If Tom and Katie can’t make it, there’s no way I can stay together. *runs away crying into Penn Station*
Frankie Boyle @frankieboyle: I can’t wait to see what Tom Cruise having a midlife crisis looks like
Michael Salerno @MikeNJD: “Katie Holmes filed for divorce form her husband of 6 years, Tom Cruise, citing ‘coming to her senses’”
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang: I want to wish Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes all the best upon successful completion of their 5-year contract.
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