Letters to the Editor: Loneliness is at epidemic levels. We still need small talk
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- In a time of widespread loneliness, letter writers defend small talk as simple but vital human connection, often the only in-person exchange some people get all day.
- From Trader Joe’s checkers to elevator chats and seaside greetings in Marina del Rey, brief interactions are seen as spirit-lifting reminders that our presence is noticed and valued.
- Critics of calls to scrap small talk urge readers to relax into these fleeting exchanges, arguing that not every conversation must be profound to teach us something or ease isolation.
To the editor: To answer the question posed in the headline: I hope not (“Can we get rid of small talk, please?,” July 5)! At a time when loneliness and disconnection have reached epidemic proportions in society, research has shown that small talk is beneficial to emotional well-being.
It’s all about connection, no matter how brief and how slight. We can’t all have a meaningful “tete-a-tete” with Spike Lee on a Brooklyn street, as guest contributor Elana Rabinowitz did. For many people, the Trader Joe’s checker asking, “Any fun plans for the weekend?” may be the only in-person conversation they have that day.
With these everyday exchanges, we are basically expressing, “I am acknowledging your presence, you are acknowledging my presence.” Connection happens. Even momentary connection can lift one’s spirit.
For instance, while walking my dog on the wharf this morning, I met a man in a wheelchair watching the fishermen below us.
Him: Good morning.
Me: Good morning. Are you going fishing today?
He: No, I’m watching my son fishing with his grandfather down there.
Me: Cool! I wish them luck.
He: Thank you. Take care!
Maybe he didn’t make my day, but he made my few minutes. Connection happened.
Laura Owen, Marina del Rey
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To the editor: As a world-class small talker, I must take issue with Rabinowitz’s op-ed.
Why not just enjoy the small interactions with people wherever you find them rather than being aggravated? Relax; it takes only a few seconds. I like asking the supermarket check-out worker how their day is going and just listening to their response. It is also fun to say hello with small talk in an elevator.
Not every conversation has to be about Leo Tolstoy. And who knows? You might learn something from small talk. I certainly have.
Guy Heston, Las Vegas
